Ok let's try this.  Normally I write from my desktop at home, which often means that I have to have enough motivation to actuallt switch the computer on! (I can go days without feeling the need to do that)

So here I am sitting in my infusion chair, actually posting from my iPhone.

This is the first time using the port, and the nurse did have some difficulty with the initial flush of saline, but blood has been drawn and saline is flowing in.

The past couple of weeks I've been feeling pretty strong, almost as if I wasn't dealing with cancer treatments, I wondered if it wasn't just the delay in my taxotere infusion, but I'm starting to feel weak,   and it's just before the infusion.  My vision is also blurred.  I'll let you know if anything shows up when the blood test comes back.

Weight has been up quite a bit, so much so that I've been reluctant to report it, but it was 272.8 lbs this morning.

Mike Gets His Dolphins

The Younger Mike

Mike had told me he was supposed to get his dolphins yesterday (which is a nice day to remember such an event.)  Congrats Mike!

Got the Christmas Tree a Little Early

Yesterday we decided to cut our Christmas tree from Penland Farm in South Carolina.  Anne and I were there last year to pick out a tree while the rest of the family was in Ohio.  But this year, it was just myself, Laura and Mathew.

Normally, I take the day off work, and let the kids out of School for the Feast of Immaculate Conception, and then we get the tree and decorate the house for Christmas.

This year, because I have been missing so much work due to treatments, (I should talk about the port that was installed Friday as well) we just decided to get the tree on the weekend, and will light it Tuesday.  Though I may light it tonight.

I enjoy getting our trees from Penland, which has been in business since 1966, but this year it seemed they over sold quite a bit, there was a lot of empty land and a lot of very young trees.  But then again, if they've been at it since '66, I would assume they know how to manage their cycle.

I wasn't planning on getting down on the ground to cut the tree this year. Though this was the warmest day I've ever cut a tree, I still didn't want to get down to the ground. So this was Matthew's first Christmas tree to cut.

We had to walk a good deal to get to the Mint Cypress we finally selected.  It was a bit more walking that I was prepared to do, and on the way back to the barn, I was easily out paced by a young mother caring a toddler!  I still feel like I'm catching my breath from yesterday.

When we made it home, I rolled the tree off the roof of the car into my chest - hitting my newly installed port pretty hard - OUCH!

Well we cut the bottom, pulled it inside and set it in the dining room.  We have a nice trey ceiling, and we needed that little space as the tree was a bit bigger that I anticipated, but honestly it's just the right size.

Failed Infusion

Today I was supposed to get my 3rd of 6 Taxotere infusions, but after sticking my arms eight times, it was decided my veins were so flat, that they couldn't infuse me easily.  When they do this they like to pick veins on the forearms or on the back of the hand.

Most people are used to having blood drawn where the elbow bends, and that's a much easier vein to use.  However, the risk is, that if the Taxotere were to leak outside of the vein there could be complications, the worst case scenario is that I would lose the arm. I wasn't prepared for that risk. Face it, under normal circumstances this stuff is a strong poison, when the nurses administer it, they don protective clothing!


So, we basically punted, ad they will be scheduling to install a portcath to make the infusions and blood testing easier.  At the time there were two other patients next to me that had had ports installed, and gave me good confidence this would be a good way to go.

The portcath will be installed Friday Dec 4th.  This is an outpatient surgery at CMC Mercy.

Oh in addition, Monday my urologist, talked to me about my right kidney being slightly swolen due to hydronephrosis .  He wanted me to have an external port and a drainage bag much like the urinary catheter I once had.   However, he did state that my kidney function is at 0.19 (again no units) but this is a better than average healthy number.  So I declined the port he was suggesting, and asked that we ultrasound in a month and see if it didn't look better.

266.8 lbs

Wednesday's Appointment

I thought I was going in for another Firmagon injection but it turned out Dr. Burgess was just using Firmagon to kick start the hormone process, and I have now been switched over Luperon . Also, I've been set up for 6 month injections on that.

One of the cautions for the Luperon site is that during the initial weeks testosterone levels will rise for a bit.  While this is bad from the standpoint of slowing the tumors, I'm hoping I'll see a little more energy at least for a while.

It's hard to believe we're in mid November already, and soon there will be a single Thanksgiving holiday. (My company only gives Thursday off.) Later when it's Christmas, we also only get Christmas itself off, and not Christmas Eve.

They sure don't work us like Europeans in this country!

I also spent about 45 minutes yesterday talking with my social worker at Dr. Burgesses office.  Of the many topics covered is setting up a "living will" - which basically will define that I don't care for any extraordinary means to preserve life at this point.

I have to read that package later today.

There has also been some talk about claiming SSDI (Social Security Disability Insurance), but even if the math works out for that, and it appears I may have sufficient cash flow to maintain the house, there are plenty of articles claiming that SSDI won't last into 2016, and the 11 million people currently receiving benefits, are about to get a 20% cut in benefit.

Also it seems this thing at most could pay me $15K a year, so I don't think I can be ready for that.

If so, it would certainly require giving up the house we just purchased.

So apart from hitting Mega Millions tonight, there isn't much hope for financial relief :)

Yesterday, I was perhaps more fatigued than ever before. I was almost unfit to drive.
However today, I've never felt stronger since I started this hormone therapy.

I can't say there's much rhyme or reason where I can figure out these ups and downs other than , the better I eat, the better I feel. Though sometimes, I can't really eat well it's more of a chore than a joy to eat.

I took Laura out to Olive Garden tonight - and again this is unusual. Normally, I come home, have just enough energy to find my way to the couch, wait for dinner, say a rosary, and then go to bed before 7:00 PM .

Here it is, almost 10:00 PM and I'm logged into my computer playing eve, and blogging.  We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Chemo Yesterday

All was fine, hbg was actually at 10.3 dag/dl, so there was no need to order an blood to be transfused.  I had been taking supplemental Iron, and enjoying various beef sources.  For example, Laura and I went to Hickory Tavern and I had the French dip, which was pretty good.

This location is close to work, and I'm supposed to have some kind of discount card from working in this building. I need to find that card. It's a little too far for me to walk, so I'll be taking the car next time I go there for lunch.  Unfortunately, the handicap parking is not very close there.

Hair fall out is expected to get worse, and I am seeing my thumbnails get a lot thicker. Other nails a showing shiny cuticles.

I had mentioned the shortness of breath, but I don't think Dr. Burgess quite understood the complaint, as my nurse later tired to schedule a CT scan of my lungs.  I tried my best to explain that this was not truly a pulmonary condition, as my breathing is just fine.  It's just that after a fairly small exertion I am winded as though I had run a mile or so.

It occurs to me that at my next appointment, I should just demonstrate it but doing a flight of stairs and letting them do vitals and see what I'm talking about.



258.8 lbs.

Beard Fell Out

Yesterday, from just rubbing my chin, I was finding that my beard was falling out.  It really didn't take much before I had a fist full of hair.

So I decided to shave my beard and moustache completely, as I figured it would be all over my pillow this morning if I didn't. 

I don't seem to have any other effects from the chemo other than generalized weakness.

Resting heart rate is still hovering about 110 bpm.  Next Chemo infussion is on the 4th, and there will be a blood test for that.

We had visited St. Maria Goretti Saturday, and I have some pictures to post, but that will be done later.

I also had a visited with my urologist Monday - he wants to set up an ultrasound on my kidneys as the right one had been inflamed when he did the surgery last month, and we should monitor them considering the chemo therapy and the work load they are now under.

I'm still running a bit light headed after climbing just one flight of stairs though.

Strength Seems to be Returning!

I'm not sure why, but at about 20:00 last night I was feeling pretty good - very stable on my feet, and was able to stand up pretty easily.

Even today I feel quite a bit better, and I notice I'm walking a little faster.

Yesterday I had talked with Dr. Bobo, my radiologist, and my chief complaint was my mouth is coated with "thrush".  I mean totally white coated in the stuff. I brush pretty frequently and use Listerine, but it doesn't seem to help much.

Dr. Bobo "authorized" a prescription, but I left his office at 15:00, and later I tried to find this prescription at about 16:50, and it hadn't been signed.  I was more than just a little disappointed.

After calling his office, the prescription was sent to the correct CVS, but it was still going to take another 20 minutes to fill.  I was too impatient, and wanted to get home.  I'll get the stuff tonight.

One of the reasons I was complaining about the thrush though is that it is often difficult to taste food properly with 95% of your mouth covered in fungus.  I had bought some wine the day before, and could not enjoy it at all due to the remaining tastes.

However, when I got home I still had a glass poured from the previous night, and rather than let it got to waste, I worked on it while having some lasagna brought by Jessica Freeman on the 19th.  So it was maybe close to 6 ounces of red wine. 

Now I looked it up, but it seems nobody has considered this to be a good remedy from thrush, but it did seem to clear me out better than anything for some time.  I also had a shot and a half of Captain Morgan's Private Reserve that Mike had left during his stay.  It's basically rum with a good heavy dose of vanilla. (The rum tasted a lot better to me, than the cabernet sauvignon)

So who knows, maybe I should make rum more of my regular food stuffs.

Normally I skip lunch at work so I can get home an hour earlier, but I wondered if this was prudent.
So I had a lunch at Tsuki which is close to work.   However, I had a good hot and sour soup, but could not finish half of the beef and broccoli.  It's odd sometimes, I feel hungry, but often it feels like too much work to eat.   So I boxed it.

I've got to find more convenient foods for me to eat during the day.

255.6 lbs

Faith Healers Again

Yesterday I stopped in at a Publix to pick up a few canned goods, and I made use of the electric cart.  So of course as I can't find the strength to lift some of that cans to the conveyor belt, the topic of cancer comes up.

I nice Protestant lady insisted on 'praying over me' as she helped me load my car.

It's the same old thing, people are always looking for that extraordinary evidence of God, and want to think their prayers will somehow provide a miracle cure.

It occurs to me that as  traditional Catholic who affirms extra ecclesium nulla salus, that I missed an opportunity here.

The next time I get a sentimental Protestant who needs to pray over me, I should return the favor, but this is what I intend to say next time:

In John chapter six, Our blessed Lord told his disciples that unless they eat the flesh of the Son of Man and Drink his blood, they would have no life in them.  Many of Jesus's disciples could not stomach this saying, and did no understand it.  They left him. However, the apostles remained, and Jesus asked if they would also leave him. To which they responded, "Lord to whom shall we go? Your words are full of everlasting life." 

These apostles who remained, were later at the Last Supper, and did eat this bread, and they became the true church established by Christ on the rock of Peter.

I pray for my friend here N.N., that he may one day come to know the only true faith that can provide this Bread of Life our Lord requires us to eat, and that my friend may be saved by this true faith and accept the Bread of Life.

Who knows if that will ever take on someone, but I do firmly believe that all Non-Catholic 'Christian' faiths are deceptions of the Devil, and will only lead to ruin in the end, because they are not the Church that Jesus established and made Peter the head.

Yes the Roman Catholic Church has many distinctive qualities that non-Catholics can argue against ad nauseam.  But if we focus on just the one thing, the Blessed Sacrament, and all the biblical evidence to support that the Catholics got it right - I think there would be more conversions.

Many times I've had very long winded debates with well meaning Protestants, but I've come to the conclusion that if we can't get them to the conclusion to agree on the Blessed Sacrament and transubstantiation as we teach it, all is lost anyway.

So much is tied to it, for example, if we profess there's only one place that has the pedigree to consecrate the Blessed Sacrament , well that certainly speaks to apostolic succession and who truly possesses it.

And then of course it also leads to the Sacrament of Reconciliation - because you shouldn't be receiving the Blessed Sacrament unless you are properly prepared.

Then there's the favored Protestant phrase, "Have you let Jesus into your heart?"  To which a Catholic can say, "not only my heart, but my mouth, my stomach and my whole body."

If you do desire to make Catholics out of Protestants, then you should just focus on the Blessed Sacrament, if they assent to that, EVERYTHING else will fall into place. And if they can't assent to it, nothing else will matter anyway.

Atrophy

As bad as I was feeling this past weekend, I spent a good portion of it in bed, and did not go to Mass.

I'm just feeling so weak, that all I want to do is stay warm in bed, but I am also dealing with some neuropathy in my hands as well.  If I lay on my left side, the two smaller fingers in my left hand become so numb that I don't feel they are alive at all.

The same is true if I lay on my right shoulder which cuts off circulation to them right hand.   So my whole night is made of a semi sleep where I have to turn quite  bit to keep the blood flowing in my hands.

I am now thinking that as much as I don't want to move out of bed on a weekend, I really need to force myself to do it - because I do need just a little exercise just to keep going.  Just taking a long shower or a nice hot bath, and stretching my legs a bit seems to help some.

With as much discomfort I have at this moment, though I sometimes wonder how much longer I'm going to have the strength just to move.

Laura and the kids have been great with helping to put on my shoes and socks, and brining bowls of soup,  to my designated couch.  If I can, I try to eat at the table with the family, but there are times when it's difficult to have the stability to sit at the kitchen chair.

I have on my calendar that I have a MRI appointment for Wednesday, though I just got called and Dr. Bobo wants to see me tomorrow.

This was originally scheduled as a follow up to my initial radiation treatments.  The deal there, is that with the treatments, it will still take some 4-6 weeks to see the tumor cell die, so they wanted to wait to get a sense of if this treatment has been effective.  So we'll hear more about that later.

It was very nice to have Sarah visit this past week - though I was down for much of it.

256.6 lbs.

Two days off Work

I had my Taxotere infusion Wednesday - and I'm not feeling any adverse effect such as nausea.
The next injection is due Nov 4th, so I guess if I'm going to see any hair loss or changes to finger / toe nails that may take some days.

My hemoglobin count came in at 8.2 (which btw being a calibration petty officer, I have to look it up and find this unit is supposed to be expressed as decagrams per deciliter  (dag / dL), i.e. 8.2 = 82 grams of hemoglobin per deciliter of blood)

It is considered low if it's under 13.5 dag/dL, and concerning when it gets close to 8 dag/dL.  So I was ordered to return yesterday to get 2 units of blood.  Which I did.  One way the that low hemoglobin (Hgb) count will show up is that my resting heart rate will be about 110 beats per minute.

They did not test my blood after the two units were added, but my resting  heart rate fell to 86.

However, I am still feeling as short of breath today as I was yesterday morning.  Sarah points out that since there are tumors seen on the head of my femurs, which are major blood producing bones, that I may have a chronic problem with low Hgb.

I do take a daily multivitamin, but there is no Iron supplementation in it, and I might want to add some, though I am getting regular food with high iron content .  Surprisingly, though it's not on the Mayo Clinic's list, rice is also a high source noted on other lists.  (I didn't like those other lists as they are very high in advertising content.)

I am at work today for a full day.

Weight 256.8 today

Fatigue

It's just a bit much sometimes.

I seem to be able to make it into work and do a reasonable amount of work, but once I'm home, all I want is a meal and to get into bed the rest of the night.

We do break for a family rosary each night, but I need to make time to do stuff like pay the bills and sort my paperwork. 

I haven't turned on my home computer for an entire week - I haven't wanted to get into any of my normal internet pass times.

We did watch the Redskins / Falcon's game along with Patriots and Cowboys, but somewhere in the second half, I decided I couldn't finish the Patriot's game, and turned in.

It was also interesting because was got to see the final plays of all 3 over time games this weekend.  I was hoping to see the Redskins win their game, but it was nice to see the Bengals and Browns win theirs.

Friday I managed to complete my first work task and turned it in for code review.  I was pretty pleased with myself seeing how the application was totally unfamiliar and written in C# which is not a language I know very well.

I spent about 5 days just studying the source code, and then about 2 days to actually code my solution.  This was helpful, because I found some good objects already in the solution I was able to modify and re-use.

Anyway, Sarah is due to arrive in Charlotte today - but unfortunately, since it's Monday and we're all working or attending school, she'll have to wait at the airport an additional hour after arrival. 

My Taxotere infusion is set up for Wednesday morning, and Sarah should be there for that.  I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel after the infusion though - will I return to work for the rest of the day ?

I guess I'll know more Wednesday.  My concern at this point is to save as much Paid Time Off as possible for Christmas.

oh and 258.8 lbs. on the scale this morning.

So it is Serious

I was just going over the stack of paper I had been handed during my initial stay at the hospital.

Originally, I was under the impression that the cancer had grown a tumor on my T-11 and my L-5 of my spine.  However, I read the results of the initial CT scan, this is in many places on the spine.  They were just most urgently concerned about the aforementioned joints which required the immediate application of radiation treatments.

It's noted in pelvis and femurs, left kidney, bladder, and of course the prostate.

Lungs and heart were given a clean bill of health, though the cancer is seen on multiple ribs.

Also there is a note on my right mandible, and I had been getting some pain there lately.  I was considering seeing a dentist for an impression of my TMJ.

The biopsy report concluded with "High Grade Prostatic Adenocarcinoma with Neuroendocrine Differentiation."   Dr. Burgess, tells me it's the Neuroendocrine Differentiation that's the really bad part.

And so with all said, Dr. Burgess is recommending a treatment with taxotere, and I've just called his clinic today and let them know I'm ready to receive that treatment.

My Adult Conversion to Catholicsm

While it is true that I had been baptized into the Roman Catholic Church as an infant, we never really had a strong upbringing in the faith while at home.

My father still to this day is largely agnostic, and in the 60's he was very hostile to the Catholic Church as a whole.  For myself, and my sisters, he didn't make much of a fuss about the baptisms, and I think for my mother it was more for the party that followed rather than any sacramental reality that motivated her.

My maternal grandparents would occasionally take us to Mass, and so the image of the crucifix and the Easter story was not entirely foreign to me.  But I can't say that I had much of a commitment to the idea that Jesus was divine.

I had mentioned that even while in college, the writings of Gichin Funakoshi probably had more influence over me than say, the Gospel according to St. Matthew. 

Part of this problem also comes from public education.  Consider, that in a series of high school world literature, we studied Greek Mythology, Roman Mythology, and then The Bible as Literature.  What's a rational mind to think but "past mythologies, followed by present day mythologies" ?

My conversion came about in the Fall of 1986, while I was training in "A" School to be an Electronics Technician for the Navy.  At that time, I had made the Navy a huge part of my life, it was bigger than I was,  and I had a strong desire to serve it well.

Our class went on a weekend outing together, and on the drive up to the mountain, the class leader Petty Officer Strickland, opened a box of cassette tapes for me to choose something to play.  Well, it was all gospel music, almost none of which I had ever heard of before.

I firmly believe that for any piece of music to be enjoyed, there must be something thing in it that is at least a little familiar.  As it turned out, one tape in that box was familiar.  It was the soundtrack to Godspell.  My mother has taken me to a performance in Boston, when that play had made all the rage and was played everywhere.  I still remember riding the green line and getting candied apples on the way to the show.

And I must say, I was transported during that performance.  Something about it did stick with me. So here I was in 1986, listening once again to the soundtrack, and I realized that there was something really really missing in my life.

The next day, I stepped into the chaplain's office, and got a copy of the New Testament and actually started to read it.  The first thing I did also was notice the number of times that passages were quoted within Lincoln's many speeches, and I took a yellow high lighter and marked that New Testament up.

This did take a few weeks to make a full conversion.  I later completed "C" school in Memphis, TN, and was then assigned to NAS Lemoore.  I met with the base chaplain, but late found my way to St. Brigit's in Hannaford, CA. Where I was placed into the Rite of Catholic Initiation for Adults (RCIA) and sponsored by my good friend Joe Coakley and his wife , Kathy.

The Coakleys were about ten years older than I was and already had established a large family of eight children. They lean a bit more to the charismatic side of the faith than I do, but their influence is felt in my family of eight.  For example, the fact that we have picture of all out children's first days of life, is largely copied from what the Coakleys had done.

On of the topics to tackle in RCIA was this stance that the Church had against contraception.  And to be honest, I didn't struggle with it at all - it made perfect sense the first time I considered it.   Consider - if we begin with the assumption that God is omnipotent, then he certainly has the power to cause any contraceptive method to fail.  A couple using illicit methods is simply expressing their desire not to have God's will interfere with their lives.  And yet God could still bless them with a child.  So if God could potentially grant a child under such circumstance, what does the couple achieve ?  Nothing really other than a rebellion against God's will.  And that is wherein the evil lies!

So after a few weeks of preparation, and getting al the paperwork complete, I went home to Massachusetts on leave, and received my First Holy Communion on Christmas Eve of 1987 in St. Mary's of Chelmsford, MA.

I point this out only to say that I made an adult choice to be Catholic. It wasn't something that I grew up with and had never questioned.

Checked into ER Last Night

I was feeling general weakness a bit more than usual, and a lots of numbness in both hands and feet with some of it reaching up to my knees.  Also I did have  a low grade fever of 100.1.

An MRI was performed at 23:30, and it assured us that there were no new concerns, but the oncologist on call had insisted we go to the ER just be sure.

I had been discharged at 04:05.  
I did have a full day at work yesterday, but was feeling the chills just as I was driving home.

Weight is now 262.2

Sarah in the Washington Post

Sarah travelled to Philadelphia to see the Pope.  She got her picture into the Washington Post for the event!

Sister Christena Papavero, 75, of San Jose said providence led them to obtain the tickets they would need to bring along “discerners” like Sarah Woolheiser, 22, of St. Louis (right) to Mass on Sunday. (Arelis Hernandez/The Washington Post).

The Daughters of Charity of St. Vincent de Paul have a long history of going about their earthly duties in unorthodox fashion.
Their more than 400-year-old order, founded in France, broke with convention and defied Rome by not allowing themselves to be cloistered, as was the custom of the day, and go into the streets and serve the “poorest of the poor.”
The nuns held true to their founding principles this week when they tried to find a creative way to get Mass tickets for their entire group. They had only three for the Mass.
Sister Christena Papavero of San Jos said they didn’t have enough for their group of 21, which included “discerners,” a group of young women who are seriously considering religious life. They accompanied the nuns wearing turquoise pullovers called “sister hoodies.”
Sarah Woolheiser, 22, of St. Louis is one of them. She and the others wore signs during the Festival of Families last night that read, “Will trade prayers for Mass tickets.” By the end of the night, they had said enough prayers to be present for the singular event.
“It was divine providence,” Woolheiser said.
It is an anniversary wish come true for Papavero, who came to Philadelphia specifically for the Mass today. Today marks 50 years since she took her vows.
“I want to kiss him on both cheeks,” Papavero said. “He is so wonderful.”

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith-live/liveblog/updates-pope-francis-in-america/?utm_content=bufferd819c&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer#88cbd793-a237-41d3-a10a-cb35dabb802e

Late Post for the Night

We received the delivery of the six beds today.  It took up so much room in Matthew's room a.k.a. the male berthing room, that we could not have both Mike and Matt's computers fit. There just wasn't enough desk space left.

We moved Mike's computer out into the family room, and played a nice long game of Civilization V.

I processed some bills, tracked down a problem with our dependent insurance. (Laura and the kids were not yet showing up even though they should.)  And I also got insurance data to the hospital, so so far it seems I don't have any big medical bills.  The hospital bill was only $1200 or so as a self-paying patient, insurance should cover most of that now.

Tomorrow I see the oncologist, and I am currently due to return to work Thursday.  Right now, I think I'm feeling good enough to be at work and earn some of this money they have been paying me.

Weight is up to 260.2 this morning, so I feel comfortable it wasn't just one bad data point, it seems my weight has stabilized.

Ad Jesum, Per Mariam, Eric
260.2 lbs

On Zyto Hand Scanners and thier "Practitioners"

I guess there's no better way to say this -

Life is too short for such chicanery!  

Both for me, and the poor Zyto "practitioners" that have been so duped.

Late last night, one of our friends from St. Ann's visited to provide a Zyto hand 'scan' to determine if there might be some nutrients that I am deficient in consuming.  Right there in that sentence you can see that Zyto is offering a diagnostic service even though The FDA warned them not to do so.

Also Dr Stephen Barret offers a good, quick run down of Zyto's failures.

As an electronics technician, schooled in electronic metrolology, I can assure you that the hand scanner can offer no more interpretation of the surface resistance of my palm that my old Fluke 77 multi-meter!  Even though the Zyto video claims it is making over 400 million redundant measurements a second, it's pretty much the "definition of insanity!"  Trust me, it was probably close to 2-5 Million Ohms each and every time, which is typical for everyone depending on body moisture.

I should also point out that between any two points of surface resistance on the palm, you'll get the same reading within three significant figures.  It is because current doesn't flow in a straight line from point to point, but will use all parallel paths around the hand's skin and to a lesser degree the rest of the body.  So for the hand scanner to use six contact points is only for show and does nothing useful.

There are no other units of measure that the scanner can possibly measure and there is nothing medically diagnostic that can be done with that data.  It is all a hoax.

The FDA was historically instituted precisely to protect the public from such snake oil salesmen.  As long as Zyto stays within limits outlined by the FDA, they can go about their business, but clearly they are exceeding their authorizations.  What is worse, is they have a fully engaged independent workforce making claims for them.

The most useful thing Zyto does for anyone is offer a strong placebo effect (if at all).  Their "practitioners" certainly believe there is good in what they do, and this can strengthen the effect.

As a software engineer, my suspicion is that if Zyto's software is any more sophisticated than a pseudo-random generator offering products at random, it may actually be searching the internet checking for web surf bread crumbs left by me to form some sort of gullibility index and find which products I would most likely respond to and buy.

It is my hope the the FDA will soon re-visit Zyto and shut these jokers down as quickly as possible.

For the practitioners, like my friend Velma, I have some ice cold recommendations for you.

As I read more about Zyto , it seems that some of you actually lease the hand scanner from Zyto.  Return them at once, and stop wasting your money on this enterprise.  If you are truly motivated to serve others with wellness and nutritional advice, then consider getting a real education on the matter.

Perhaps you might consider working for a well established company such as GNC , Whole Foods Market or the Vitamin Shop.

Those companies will give you good education on their products, and you won't be burning gasoline and other expenses on home visits. This will also help protect you from telling anecdotes, that if you're not careful, could be construed by some to be medical advice, that can get you into a great deal of legal trouble.

As much as I hate the idea of Multi-Level Sales, I might even recommend you consider a company like Shaklee.
 
An even better option, if you truly desire to help serve someone to better health is to consider beginning as a nurse's assistant.

As I have been helped here in the Caolinas, I've had a curiosity of how it is that the medical profession is receiving the education around here.  As near as I can tell, the barriers to entry are very low indeed!  I am sure you can also find needed grant money to get started as well.

Consider becoming a real Certified Nurse's Assistant and then while you are working, and paying the bills, and gaining valuable experience, upgrade your education to RN, BSN, PA, or higher.  Good luck!

As for reporting my personal status, it seems my daily weight check has come up to 256.6 lbs this morning. It's only one data point, but  the trend to weight loss may be stopped.  I have a Urologist appointment with my PA today.

- Quod scripsi scripsi , Eric
256.6 lbs

Thanks for the Meal Plans

I was just looking through the blog stats, and I noticed a page that was referring traffic to the blog:

http://www.takethemameal.com that was arraigned by Katherine Lauer at St. Ann's.

I'm very grateful for the assistance, but is is also my hope that the families bringing meals, plan to bring enough for themselves and will take the time to sit with us here at home.

We're still new to Charlotte, and haven't made very many connections with our church members.

Every Day is a Feast Day

With Mike & Matt's help we were able to get shelving up to set statutes of Our Lord and Lady.  I have also been indulging Laura in potted plants, and I enjoy the peace lily near the new audio/video equipment rack, that also houses the wireless router.

We also made space for a statue of Our Lady of Fatima that Kimberley had won in a raffle during the annual Columbus Day bizarre up in Massachusetts.  I hadn't snapped the picture yet, but she's in the front hall as the first greeting to visitors in our home.

It's turing into a very comfortable space for Laura, Matthew, Kate, Theresa, Anne-Marie, and our four dogs.   Still quite a lot of art yet to place and hang, but we just work a little each day.

I'm still feeling an incredible fatigue, and some circulation issues with my hands falling alseep from bending my elbow too far I think.  Feeling this un-reasonable fatigue I had Laura test my sugar with her diabetic strips for good measure. I came in at 151 so I guess that's just fine for me.  I figured, we could make the test, and if it did come in very low, I would call my doctor.

I still can't understand how it is my appetite has increased so much, my GI is clear, and I am still dropping weight as we go.  Both Theresa and Matt have been fine cooks with the new kitchen, and with Mike's suppliments to our grocery purchases, the nutirition quiality is higher then we've afforded in years.  Each day seems like a feast to me.

I figure I may as well post my latest weight as part of my standard signature to trend it.

I rested most of the day - sleep is comming in more easily now and requires no red wine assistance.


Thanks all for those leaving comments, it helps bring me back to the blog to see what you've contributed.

Ad Jesum, Per Mariam, Eric
251.8 lbs

My Son's Mustang

So it's kinda an odd vehicle to see with a handicap permit, but the permit's for me, not the car.

We're just picking up more stuff from Home Depot to turn the new house into a home for Laura. It's terrific to have this time off from
work, to settle things that would take quite a bit longer were I working.

Yesterday, Mike also received a muffler and exhaust kit upgrade, which he installed. It sounds like a real muscle car now, and it's lovely to share in his joy. Both Matt and Kate took an interest in the instillation. 

Today was just a bit more shopping as we installed a 5.1 surround sound system in the main room.  Mike and Matt are now setting up some wall shelving for the statues of our Lord and Lady, which will make Laura and myself quite happy.  Fr. Reid is scheduled to perform a house blessing for Nov 17th, and we hope to be ready for that and actually look like a Catholic home.  

Additionally, I'm now making maximum use of a veteran discount at Home Depot.  I hadn't really given it much though before, but one observant sales clerk just added the discount without prompting. Since I had presented my DD-214 to the DMV, I have the word "Veteran" printed on my driver's license - so I may as well ask for a discount everywhere I go.   If a business offers it why shouldn't I? 

BRAVO ZULU to Home Depot.

I'm still feeling a generalized weakness, and at times wonder if I have the strength to stand.  Oddly, my appetite is through the roof, I can't seem to eat enough now, and I'm holding it all down.

I hadn't included a picture of our new home yet, so I may as well stuff that here.

You'll no doubt note the Navy flag we fly to add a bit of distinctiveness compared to every other neighbor's American flag.

I haven't ordered it yet, but I need to get a 3 star service flag for the other post.  Also un-planned is that we have a pervading Northern breeze which is just perfect since the Navy flag is truly
one sided, and would read backwards had it been the other way.

Oh and one last thing -

Happy birthday to Kimberley Rose Woolhiser, serving our nation from Japan.

She of course is responsible for the "Best Dad since 1991" shirt.

Not a huge amount to report tonight, I'm just mostly making sure I get one post out a day.  Consistency is key.

- Pax Vobiscum, Eric 

252.2 lbs

On Faith Heailing and Miricles

Now I understand, that people mean very well and have the best intentions when offering prayers, special Masses, and healing opportunities.

I do understand the great desire to help in anyway possible.

But I have to tell you, it pains me a great deal to receive such offer for help.

Laura received a text from a parish member inviting me to attend a service in St Pergrine's name, with the relic of St. Peregrine himself.  Who yes, I am very familiar is the patron saint of Cancer, and he has a remarkable and miraculous story and I wholeheartedly believe it occurs as told to us.

The trouble I have goes to the roots of our faith however. I consider what it is we read in the Bible:

St John 20 :
24 Now Thomas, one of the twelve, who is called Didymus, was not with them when Jesus came.

25 The other disciples therefore said to him: We have seen the Lord. But he said to them: Except I shall see in his hands the print of the nails and put my finger into the place of the nails and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.

26 And after eight days, again his disciples were within, and Thomas with them. Jesus cometh, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst and said: Peace be to you.

27 Then he said to Thomas: Put in thy finger hither and see my hands. And bring hither the hand and put it into my side. And be not faithless, but believing.

28 Thomas answered and said to him: My Lord and my God.

29 Jesus saith to him: Because thou hast seen me, Thomas, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen and have believed.

30 Many other signs also did Jesus in the sight of his disciples, which are not written in this book.

31 But these are written, that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God: and that believing, you may have life in his name.

The trouble I have is that as people suffer through this life, they ache to see constant evidence that God exists.  When in fact the proof is already around us, we simply have to open our eyes to see it!  Failing to notice God in the little natural moments in our lives causes this desire for extraordinary evidence.

People often want to feel that their prayers are having an effect so they themselves may feel powerful.

And I admit, now that I have made a good confession, I like to think that my daily Rosaries can have effect for the conversion of sinners.

If I were not in the state of grace there could be no effect.

And to this point, I stand by St. Joan of Arc's answer when asked if she considered herself in the state of grace:

"If I am in the state of grace, I pray that God keep me there, and if not, I pray that God bring me there."

But the correct thing to do is to offer our Lord and his Blessed Mother our devotions and to allow them to dispence grace as pleases them.

The act of prayer is simply to raise our minds to God so that we may more perfectly know His will.

My mission therefore, as is yours, is to constantly seek friendship with God by turning away from all sin and make reparation for the sins we have committed.

In my particular case, I have had a long struggle with the sins of impurity and the flesh.  And again as another providential moment from God, the relics of St Maria Goretti will be coming to Charlotte on October 24th!  I assure you this will not be missed!

My aim will not to seek a miracle healing, but only to ask for reparation of my most grievous sins.

We point to St. Maria Goretti because of her natural response to run from sin, and that even on her deathbed she was fully prepared to forgive her rapist with total charity.

Hers is a most beautiful family story our of faith, and should be studied and repeated.  God give us the example of St. Maria Goretti so that we may contemplate heroic natural action in the sight of sin.

We should not be seeking miracles, but learn to naturally act as saints.  God gives us all facility and grace to do so. It is only we that fail.

So to the point of natural action, I invite my brothers and sisters to consider natural ways to minister to each other with financial assistance, sharing meals and labor with the needy, and to just simply make small sacrifices in the love for one another.  Visit the poor, and the imprisoned and simply speak words of comfort.

This is why God does permit suffering, so that we have a reason and the opportunity to act for each other.  So that we may provide charity and love to each other and learn to become Christ by naturally acting as He would.

I feel that were I to receive a miracle of healing at this point, it would do the world that already doubts the very existence of God no good whatsoever.   It would not convince one soul more that God loves us.

Yet through natural action of ministering to one another, others will see and wonder, "Why do Christians do that? Maybe, I should consider a new way of living."

This is what God desires of us.

Pax Vobiscum, Eric
255.3 lbs

Origin and Earliest Memories

I was born October 14th, 1963, shortly before the JFK assassination.

My father Warren Emmanuel Woolhiser was and is an Electrical Engineer now retired.  He married my mother Paula Ann Ryan on St. Patrick's Day, 1963, and they made their home in a small duplex at either 16 or 18 Rendall Place, Melrose, MA. I do have memories of the shape of this house, particularly the garage entrance. It seems to me the color hasn't changed in 50 years either.

My recollection was that we lived on the lower floor.  It's pretty amazing what Google Street View can provide today.

Of course anyone now doing the math, will figure out that I attended my mother's wedding.  So I guess legally and technically, you may call me a bastard.  I don't see any particular shame in this, my parents were young and committed to each other in love.  It's just a technicality, that if anything tickles my funny bone.

I believe we lived here until 1967, when my parents bought new construction at 1 Blacksmith Rd, Chelmsford, MA. 

So without very strong particulars there were three memories from Rendall Place that stick out.

The first is siting on a small concrete wall on
Linwood Ave, where I watched at least a platoon or two of olive drab green soldiers marching down Linwood Ave. They were in battle dress, and I don't know where they were marching to or from, I just knew they were soldiers.  God bless them for their service and whatever they happened to be doing on that day.  I often wonder if they were actually marching off to Vietnam, of if this had just simply been a National Guard drill.   But for a small boy, it was impressive, and may have contributed to my military mindset early on.

The second thing that happened while at Rendall Place was that I was playing with another boy in a sandbox just a little ways up the hill from the house.  I can't remember his face or his name, we were simply two boys with Tonka trucks in a sandbox.  I don't remember the day but I learned that while at the sandbox I failed to control my rage, and I hit the other boy with one of the trucks in the face.

Apparently I hit him so hard, that I actually caused a permanent disfigurement with his teeth and jaw.

Again, I don't remember his face, but the story haunts me so that I consider this to be a pivitol moment in my life.  I often believe this is where I got my fist instruction from my mother not to hit anyone first.  I'm sure I was made to feel pretty badly about it.

I do think this was critical to my nature in human interaction.  Later in college, I would formally adopt Ginchin Funakoshi's quotation Karate ni sente nashi  meaning: there is no first attack in karate.

It still is often difficult to control my rage, but I manage as best I can.

Should this boy, or his family become aware of this blog, I do welcome contact as I feel it's an un-closed apology I need to make.  I still often wonder about him.  Did he not get the girl had had his real love for due to the injury I set in his face?  What other opportunities did he miss?  I really would like to hear about it one day.

The last thing I took away from Randall Place was that I managed to put my hand though the plate glass window on the East side of the house, and the scars are in my hand to this day.

In moving into 1 Blacksmith Rd, my mother showed me the water tower or tank in the backyard, and told me that was mine.  I believed it for several years, and asserted my ownership with the neighborhood children several times.

I'm sure she though it was ugly, assumed I would, and was just trying to put the best face on the situation.  It was right out my bedroom window, impossible to ignore.

My mother kept 1 Blacksmith Rd through her divorce with my father, and struggled to keep until she met her second husband.  There were other male figures in my life at this time who should receive attention in a separate post.

But I want to thank my mother for having provided stabilty, at 1 Blacksmith, which she recently sold in November of 2014.  This is in contrast to how I have moved my own wife and children around from Massachusttes, Ohio, Arkansas and now North Carolina.

BRAVO ZULU, Mom!

Last Radiation Treatment Today

I completed my tenth session under the X-Ray machine.  I goofed on my schedule and arrived an hour late, but they saw me just the same.  It was also nice that Michael was allowed into see the machine and them setting me up for the shots.  It has the prettiest green laser you'll ever see.

Afterwards Kitty, lead a small 'graduation' ceremony with Teresa and Erica.  It's odd, but even that small moment was more special than I realized, and I appreciate it.

Before the appointment, Mike and I were shopping for various housewares such as sheets and things.  Since it was just Mike and myself, I had a little fun indulging in a restaurant called "The Tilted Kilt" which is really just a Hooter's wanna-be with classier costumes.  It wasn't much, but it might be my only stag moment to have shared with my son.

I had a nice Guinness and a Dublin Stew.  Mike had the "Shepherds Pie", though I don't think you should be allowed to call it that unless it is authentically made with lamb rather than ground beef.

There's another pub further North that I have been to called Big Ben that does serve a lamb shepherd's pie.  It's worth the trip - especially, if you're not looking for smarmy dress.

I really really love Charlotte, NC.  It has been the best city I have ever lived in, and were it not for a un-solicited e-mail from a Charlotte recruiter, who found my resume on Linked-In, I wouldn't be here.  It was just never on my mind.

Mike has also been helping with groceries, and we've been treated to steak dinners for the past three nights. My appetite seems to be pretty good.  I am still very weak and shaky.

Mike and Matt would like me to play some Diablo III with them, but to be honest, I doubt my hand co-ordination is up to the task. 

None the less, the boys are having a very good time with Mike's visit.

I didn't sleep at all last night - my mind was racing with many different images, and I haven't been able to settle down for a nap this afternoon.  I'm sure blessed sleep will come in its due time.

bis später, Eric

New Beds Courtesy of my Children

After the breakfast, Mike, Matt and I visited Rooms to Go on East Independence, and ordered 6 twin bunks, and decent mattresses.

There was a little confusion at first because, they thought I was talking about six bunk bed sets for a total of 12 mattresses - it was a relief to get that bill cut down to $4400 once we cleared the confusion and reduced it to 6 mattresses.

I'm pretty sure this is what we got.  Just the bed mind you, but I like the shelving at the head.

This all came out of Mike's pocket, but I'm hoping that Kimberley and Stephen will share the burden equally and pay Mike back for their shares.

The aim is that we have four twins for the male berthing room to take care of Michael, Stephen, Matthew and Brett.  These are finished in black, and come with bookshelves in the head of the bed.  It should accommodate personal items well.

There is also a second twin set for Kimberley and Sarah, for the smaller guest room. Same design, just finished in Cherry.  I hear that Sarah will be visiting for Columbus Day and my birthday on the 14th.  Apparently the Daughters of Charity will be funding the travel from St. Louis, MO to Charlotte NC.

Delivery of the beds is expected Tuesday, so we've got Sarah's trip covered already.

Thanks be to God for all his wonderful gifts!
I am full of joy.

Ad Jesum Per Mariam, Eric

257 Pounds Soaking Wet

That may still seem like a healthy fellow, but it's well under my usual weight.

This morning Mike, Matt, Laura and I shared a breakfast at the Original Pancake House here in Charlotte which has been a family favorite since we lived in Cincinnati. Mike and Matt indulged in getting Dutch Babies even though we were cautioned it would take an extra half hour of preparation.

We had the time, so let's enjoy it.

While sharing the breakfast, Laura was texted from her sister Susan asking about my weight.  I have only recently bought a bathroom scale and was not monitoring my weight at all.  I really had no idea I was losing it. 

In January, A visit to my GP weighted me in at 305 lbs.  As I now stand on my bathroom scale I'm at 257.  And yes I notice the much thinner thighs at this point. So clearly some of the weight loss was muscle but I also welcome the loss of the unwanted weight.

All that really does for me, is help confirm this is real.

I'm doing well without the catheter. I have to be a little more conscious of my bladder condition as the valves there aren't closing quite as tight as before,  so if I'm not careful, I may get a little surprise before I make it to that final foot or so to the toilet.  I expect that to improve shortly as my bladder gets used to functioning without the catheter.  So if you see my shuffling to the toilet - GET OUT OF MY WAY!  (if you please)

Well Beyond Vanity

Ok I finally took a new selfie for the blog.

I'm still debating at this point about keeping the beard.  However I think it suits my new aspect.

Clearly I am dressing for comfort, and I will be more presentable in the office and at Church, but as I make these continued radiation treatments (3 to go) and other office visits, it makes the disrobing a bit easier.

I guess the effect I'm going for is more smiles, and a small tear filled with joy and a slightly sagacious aspect.  Sort of like being a grandfather without actually being one.

Thanks again to Kimberley for having provided the hat while she was stationed in San Diego as part of Assault Craft Unit 5.  The Princeton was home ported in San Diego, so the NEX carried the hats.  I also have the word "Plankowner" stitched in the back.

Catheter Out!

My most anticipated appointment was this morning with Urology Specialists of the Carolinas . They are not a partner with CMC, but they have an office at CMC Pineville.

The procedure was a bit more than I anticipated, as they first filled my bladder with about 300cc of saline through the catheter.  My bladder held that for a bit, the catheter was removed, and I then drained 200cc back fairly promptly.   I was sent on my way urged to drink extra fluids, and to return if there were any problems later today.  As I got home, I did piss myself a little on the new sweats that Mike had brought me, but I probably drained an additional 100cc into the toilet.

Nice long shower, change of clothes and I'm in very good shape.

But this post is going to be a bit more about the wonderful people, Melissa, Chrissy, and especially Regina who served me today at Urology Specialists.

Regina is a Nursing Assistant and she provided me with most of the care of this operation with Melissa, a PA checking in on me.

It was clear the Regina's mind was clouded, and I apologize for being a bit rude.  The paperwork is not co-ordinated with CMC records, so I was supposed to list my medications by hand, and I didn't have a ready list even though I had been advised by recorded message to do so.  I was a bit annoyed at this lack of technology, but these gaps do happen.  So when Regina was asking for the list I was a bit short. I did back off, and decided to take a bit of interest in Regina's life.

Regina works as an NA just to pay the bills - she works well and is very professional but the medical field is far from her dreams.  It turns out that she's more interested in computers. I encouraged her as best I could describing my career with computers and the current salary I get though I do not have formal credentials - just some 30 years of programming experience which is counting for something.

I also picked up on her name Regina, and encouraged her to look up the famous hymn Regina Coeli Laetare  (Queen of Heaven Rejoice!) though it is in Latin. I asked her to focus on what I call the "three happiest words in all creation"

Ressuexit sicut dixit

which means "He is risen as He said."  So potent and brief these words are, because we not only get the great news that Christ is risen, but that He did it just exactly as He promised!

I encouraged Regina as best I could to step out and look for the computer education she needs and take that first step.

Another secular song of encouragement I highly recommend is the Late Stan Roger's Mary Ellen Carter and as you see in this video, this song saved a life.

"And you, to whom adversity has dealt the final blow

With smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go

Turn to, and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain

And like the Mary Ellen Carter, rise again"

I'm a big fan of Stan Rogers, and I like to tell the story of his tragic death on June 2nd 1983, in Cincinnati.  He was flying in a DC-9 when the pilot radioed in that they had smoke, and requested an emergency landing in Cincinnati. The plane landed safely, but once the doors were opened the oxygen flow caused a flash and 23 of the 46 souls aboard perished, including Stan Rogers.

It is by this incident, that the NTSB made a recommendation to put in smoke detectors in the bathrooms and to prohibit such smoking.  So each time you get lectured by your flight attendants about this, consider Stan Rogers, and say a little prayer.  Such a beautiful soul to have lost - please do look up is other works, and learn about this Canadian national treasure.

I also have a confession to make today, as we were driving around there was a man on the off ramp at I-485 onto South Blvd, holding a sign expressing he was 61 and homeless.  I did have two twenty dollar bills in my pocket and I neglected to offer any charity.  I plan to get some smaller bills for the next time.  Perhaps I will do better.  It also occurs to me that I have been keeping some hard candies "Werther's Original" from CVS in my belly bag, I could have at least offered those.

I also dropped by my former employer Velocitor Solutions, Inc. and spoke briefly with COO Shawn Flemming.  I discussed the cancer briefly, and that while the termination from Velocitor was painful at the time, I am well over it, and all is well.  I also briefly visited with some former employees.

So life is good, but it's still work.

-Ad Jesum Per Mariam, Eric

Well Executed Surprise

I met with Fr. Reid at St. Ann's for the usual goodbye after Mass, and he already knowing of the cancer spent a little more time with me.  I urged him to consider adding a nice ejaculation  for the poor souls after each Mass, such as the traditional :

"V. Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord.
R. And let the perpetual light shine upon them. 

And may the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen."

And he promised to consider it.  Father was also letting me know the word was out and there are many offers for assistance from the parish.  I passed this onto Laura.  At the moment, all our known needs are met  - but I haven't seen any costs that insurance won't cover yet, so there are some big unknowns to face.  However, considering how perfectly things are going now, I do trust the ultimate shepherding of God.

So I then took the family except Kate to The Dragonfly Chinese Restaurant and had a great meal (which I ate most of save all the fried rice).  I had my favorite Hot and Sour soup and beef and broccoli for the entrée.

We had a nice conversation about how each of the children were named and I told the story of Matthew's response when I announced his new baby brother, Thomas Girard was still born at 32 weeks.  There will be more detail of that story in a later post.

We told the story of St. Athanasius and the heretic Arius, and also how St. Nicholas slapped Arius in the face in front of Constantine.  The topic came up because Stephen's middle name is Athanasius. When Laura and I settled on those names we were pairing two saints who had the courage to speak the truth when nobody wanted to hear it.  You may have been familiar with the phrase Athanasius contra mundi - or Athanasius against the world as he fought to hold the doctrine that Jesus is fully God as well as man.  The line in the Nicene Creed "true God from true God, begotten, not made, consubstantial with the Father" is a direct repudiation to Arius's heresy.  Arius would state 'Jesus was made the son of God by God'.  This is false, because if Jesus were made by God, he would be just a creation of God, not God Himself.

So onto the surprise!

The great fun was that at about 18:30 I made a call to Michael to see if he would be interested in helping buy four bunk beds for the men's bedroom in preparation of the big Christmas we were planning.  His answer was that he was on the road and shouldn't talk for about a half hour.

A half hour later, Michael called, and asked "You still have the black Ion with the 3 service stars on the trunk?"  and I quickly realized, he was in the driveway and surprised us with an early leave down!

Only Kate knew he was on the way, and she did a very good job keeping the secret.  BRAVO ZULU!

I am grateful for the early leave, because I will have more time to visit with Mike as I use my short term disability.  Still lots of things to settle in the house, for example there are a few light switches I'd like to change because the electricians wired them in a non-intuitive order in some places.  Easily done, but it will be nice to have another Second Class Electronics Technician in the house to secure power and get this done safely.  Now we can shop for those bunk beds, while I'm on STD together.

Luckily, I had just asked Mike yesterday to visit the Navy Exchange to get me some new sweats too - so glad he didn't leave before I made the request.  Also for good measure, Mike got me a USS New Hampshire ball cap - does that make me an honorary bubble head now ?

Mike intends to stay until October 1st for when I return to work.

My intention is to have room for Michael, Stephen, Matthew, and Brett - and save for Matthew, they are all ready for tight quarters anyway.  I do aim to get decent twin mattresses for full adult weights though.

Brett, if I have not mentioned before, is Kimberley's love interest and he's stationed on USS Antietam CG-54, which is in the same squadron as the USS Stethem DDG-63.  So yes, both are coming from Japan this Christmas.  It's going to be a great memory!

My mother is making arraignments for my two sisters, Cindy and Julie and Julie's son to be down in Charlotte as well.   Mom is also working on a photographer for the big event.

Now honestly, isn't this what family is for?  All it took was a little terminal illness :P

I am so looking forward to the rest of my life.

Ad Jesum, Per Mariam - Eric

Working on the look and feel of the blog

I just started with a simple template just to start getting the content out there, but I got to fix my profile picture - it's not so great at the moment.

One of the other things is that I still own the domain http://woolhiser.com and I should get better linkages between that and this blog so that it will be easier to find and describe than "princetonplank.blogspot.com". 

If you like you can simply visit http://blog.woolhiser.com which will now re-direct to here.
I think it will be easier for me to describe in the future.

I'm just making a quick post before heading to Mass.  I had settled on dress pants, shirt and tie rather than the sweats I have been wearing.  The pants are loose enough for the leg bag, and I have rubber bands to secure that damned valve!

A couple of days ago, Laura had dropped me off for a radiation treatment, and as my right foot got out of the car the leg bag opened soaking my calf and sock in ripe urine.   Thank God, my leg was OUTSIDE the car so nothing to clean inside the car.

Well nothing to do but walk into the waiting room with a sheepish apology.

Fortunately, the suite actually had a separate male waiting room, and in there was a bath, shower, and a clean pair of green scrubs.  I guess I'm not the first to have such an accident.

But the rubber band is good assurance now.  I can't wait till tomorrow at 09:00 when it's due to be removed and I can piss as God intended.

Moving on out and moving into our new life

When we moved the family from El Dorado, Arkansas to Charlotte, I used a 26 foot UHAUL in a very dangerous journey, particularly though Atlanta.  Fatigue was upon me and I had a full van, and occasionally my right tire would leave the road.  I could feel the angels giving the top of a van a gentle tap to keep us upright.

We lived in the southern part of the Steele Creek area in a nice rental provided from Park Avenue Properties and due to builder delays was able to extend our lease to 13 months. 

The movers we hired to get us from the South side of Steele Creek to the Northern side used a 24 foot truck and some 5% of our belongings remained on the South side.  Well today we moved it all in a 10 foot UHAUL. While it has yet to be sorted, all our stuff is in one place now.

All of my younger children, Matthew, Katherine, Theresa, and Anne-Marie participated and the job was done in under 4 hours.  As a reward, we stepped over the South Carolina line for ice cream at Bruster's Ice Cream Farm . BRAVO ZULU to all!

I still haven't sat down to do my bills yet, but it's coming!

I had a nice phone call from Cherie Fill, and old friend from The Saint Benedict Center who was urging me to adopt the Green Scapular in addition to the Brown I currently wear.  So I accepted, and she'll be mailing me one, once it's blessed.  I was in turn urging her to read about one of my favorite devotions - The Daily Pilgrimage to Purgatory and with November coming upon us, it would be great to get some advanced orders of these pamphlets, stock the bookstore, and spread the devotion to members of the Saint Benedict Center.  I urge all my readers to look into this as well.

Also today, my wife gave me the URL to an article my daughter Sarah wrote just recently - it even comes with a picture of her smiling face! Take a look at The Daughters of Charity!

I am so immensely proud of everyone, and I welcome all the interest from old friends.  

A thought occurred to me today about my focuses of this blog.  Chiefly, it's intended to be a spiritual journal. It will contain some daily incidents, it may have technical information and articles of my cancer treatment - but I will also use it to chronicle some memoirs from time to time.  It's time to put many of these precious memories to a written record.  Let my children know about the memories that have given me, that have also shaped my life as well as theirs. And well it won't just be restricted to my children either.  There have been many things said to me, or things I have read that have made me what I am today and it would be a pleasure to write about them.

Oh and also if you do see spelling or grammatical errors in any post, I welcome the input and I will edit them as needed. (apparently I even typed Kimberley's name wrong on my very first post!)  Well it prompted a Skype message from Japan, so it wasn't all bad. I wish I could say I actually planned it, but I didn't.

any way,
Pax Vobiscum,
Eric

A brief chronology

So the adventure begins back in January 2015 where I had seen a General Practitioner named Dr. John Tenini, and I met him at his Rivergate office in Steele Creek.  He did typical blood work, and my Prostate Specific Antigen test (PSA) came back elevated somewhere around a 4.

While he wanted more tests and was also urging the typical 50 year old colonoscopy , I just blew it off being busy with work, managing cashflow and trying to get our new life in Charlotte together.

At that visit I was also weighed in at 305 lbs, which was disappointing because I had been stable at 290 for about 10 years, but it was after Christmas, so again I figured that would work off over time.  However, later I would be asked about weight loss, and I hadn't really noticed it, but I'm down to 270 now.

So long about 3-4 months ago I was experiencing a good deal of lower back pain, and I sought the attention of Dr. Jared Scoltisek, a chiropractor which I highly recommend to anyone.  My wife also saw him and due to an old elbow injury, had limited feeling in her hand, and Dr Jared was able to resolve that for her as well.

Also at the time, Laura and I were still sleeping on a 12 year old mattress that we had originally bought for a vacation home in Conway, NH.  We drug that thing to MA, later to OH, AR, and finally here to NC.   So it was time for a change and again , cancer was not in my thoughts.  I was just blaming the mattress for the back pain.

I was working for a company we'll just call "V" for now - I am a bit bitter about the circumstances with "V" but I also want to adhere to what I call the "Thumper rule" - "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nouthin' at all!"

I did have an incident though where I had severe nerve pain in my left leg and was not able to walk on it without the assistance of a walker which I had picked up for $5.32 at Goodwill on the advice of Dr. Jared.  I worked from home for a week, because "V" has zero sick days, and it's about the only way to get around this.  I had also used the walker at the "V" office, and they could see I was in pain.

We were constructing a new home, due to close on July 31, but that was halted by a surprise termination from "V".  I had good reviews, no disciplinary action or record, just one day I was told to leave.  The unemployment investigation also stipulates that I had no warning and was not fired for misconduct.  So I was awarded a $350 / week benefit.
 
Well, that very day, I hit my linked-in page and discovered a recruiter had reviewed my profile two days prior, and he happened to have a hot requisition.  Seriously, we have to see the hand of God in all this.  Since this is a new company, and I haven't checked their social media policy in detail, we'll just call them XP for now.

XP was in the middle of moving to new office space, and delayed my hiring until September 1, so that they would not need to build my computer desk twice. I got the employment verification for my mortgage company, and was able to close on the new home 9/4 and we moved Saturday 9/5.

There was Labor Day, and we returned to work 9/8.  By about 10:00 I walked into my Vice President's office and confirmed that I had medical coverage since 9/1 and that I felt I needed a doctor that day. Gene (the VP) sent me home quite promptly.  It's a great company and you'll be hearing more about them later, but even this quickly they are treating me as a valued employee, and I am very grateful - looking forward to giving something back ASAP.

So here we are in the Steele Creek emergency room close to Dr. Tenini's office, and they give me an immediate catheter because I couldn't pass urine. The relief came quickly and the urine was a light enough color that I was sent home with a leg bag and an appointment to have it removed later.

Five hours after that point I had a good deal of blood in the bag, and I was leaking past the catheter (FR gauge 18). When Laura came home, she advised we go to CMC Pineville because it was a full hospital, and there was a good chance I would be admitted.  Wise woman!

After a lot of irrigation, and no end to the blood, I got an immediate CT scan and about 23:00 learned I had cancer.  Clearly I was admitted, and they had me scheduled for bladder surgery in the morning to cauterize some wounds, take a mass and also some prostate tissue.  Because this thing was also wrapped around my T-11 and another lumbar joint I don't recall, I got my first radiation treatment as well.

The PSA levels we now in the 500's and due to the location, the best evidence was this was prostate cancer. The biopsy result have not yet been confirmed to me, but it's a reasonable thing to assume at this stage.

Oh and keeping my sense of humor, as I kept passing blood past the catheter, they changed it twice and upgraded me to a 24 gauge, which works out to be about 2.3 mm wider in diameter than average. I asked our nurse Mary, if I should consider that an ego stroke :)  I was also later assured on 9/21 that I was the first man in the clinic's history ever to use that size!

Incidentally, 9/8 is our Blessed Mother's birthday, and to be first served by a nurse named Mary was comforting.

So there I was getting served by the incredible staff at CMC Pineville until my discharge on 9/14.
I can't praise the service high enough. I know what it takes to build processes and train people, and everything at CMC Pineville was flawless! From the ladies cleaning my room, to the environmental staff bringing meals, the nurses, the "vampires" taking my blood tests, and of course Dr Ross who was attending me.  Not one single "Nurse Cratchet" moment with anyone!  Everything was perfect, the food was the best I've had in months.  I had been having trouble with my appetite lately, and dealing with constipation and vomiting at night, but the food here got my colon back into swing and my appetite returned.

So I am home now, with a lot of technical reading to do, and bills I've deferred just because I didn't take the time to pay them yet.  I have a return to work authorization for October 1st.  I didn't think I would quite need that much time, but I am feeling a general weakness, and it's giving time to settle thing in the new home.  My driving is pretty limited, and Laura has been busing me around to my appointments.

Ad Jesum, Per Mariam,
- Eric

Time to Blog Again

Due to difficulty in recovering my old blog, The Original Princeton Plankowner Proceedings , I've just given up and will start fresh. (I still like the name of the original blog though)

The older blog may be an interesting reference as it will shed some light on thinking I had for some time.

Well there's a couple of important reasons for a new blog anyway.  The older blog was discontinued in 2006 after I left the practice of real estate.  That was a long time ago, and by no means shall I catch you up on the last nine years of my life.  Suffice it to say I have returned to software development as my primary source of income.

But what's the motivation and focus for the new blog ?

In a word:

CANCER

As of 9/8/2015, I have been diagnosed with what looks like a typical prostate cancer, and it has metastasized and attacked my spine.  It's not in a great place, and I am facing my mortality.

Of course there were all the recent phone calls re-connecting with a family I was too self absorbed with my own life over the past nine years and couldn't be bothered to pick up the phone and stay connected.

So now there are the recent flurry of calls as word gets out to all those people I should have kept in my life.  Everyone wants to lend sympathy, prayers, and "any thing they can do."

Well the message to everyone is that I am a traditional Roman Catholic (attending the extraordinary form of the Mass) and that I am in a very correct religious disposition about this.

At this time, I don't want to disclose my my oncologist's prognosis, or give what I like to call my "Mean Time Between Failure" (MTBF) guess.  A lot can happen in that time, and it's only a guess anyway. It's an average and not a hard number.  But what it does mean is that I get the incredible grace from God to stare at my mortality in the face.

Most people run their lives as though they will never perish, giving very little thought about their preparation to meet final Judgement.  It is a gift that I can now see the ribbon at the end of the race, and be able to put out my best strength from now until I cross the line.

On this first post I may sound a little dramatic.  In a recent call with a good Catholic friend he stated that I was "not yet on my final mission", but that was before I got the MTBF from my doctor.   But in reality, we are all on our final mission, we just rarely think about it as we should.

---

As this is my first post in the new blog, let me run down a couple facts about my life.  I recently moved to Charlotte, NC, from El Dorado, AR.  Since the real estate fall-out in 2006, I was also working in Cincinnati, OH, and Shirley MA.

I have eight lovely children, and I am still married to my first wife Laura.  Our 25th comes up this December 29th.

I am proud of all my children, four of whom have left the nest, and four remain at present.
My oldest daughter, Kimberley is an Electronics Technician Second Class serving in Japan on the USS Stethem DDG-63.  

My daughter Sarah, has completed her Licensed Practical Nurse (LPN) while in Arkansas, and is currently discerning a vocation the St. Vincent's Daughter's of Charity in St Louis, MO.

My son Michael is an Electronics Technician Second Class Serving as a Reactor Operator on the USS New Hampshire SSN-778 out of Groton CT.

My next son, Stephen, is serving as a Seaman, currently training in Groton for communications and cryptography to support a fast attack submarine when he completes his school. He also will become an Electronics Technician Third Class before long.

As a former Electronics Technician Second Class - you can imagine how immensely proud I am of all this.

The children still at home are all doing well. No doubt you'll hear more about them in other posts.