Well Maybe Not

I got admitted to the hospitsl because the pain was uncontrolled. The ER had me for a while, but kicked me upstairs. Due to bed availability, they dropped me on the third floor which is largely intended for cardiac care. Ironically, my heart is the one thing that gives me no trouble.

Being cardio care nurses, they hooked me up to monitors that I didn't need and things that seemed normal to them. It wasn't the right care fit for me.  So, they gave me as much pain medication that seemed right to the nurses on that floor, and I would still hit Pain Level 10 and be in tears for hour or more at a stretch. Eventually, the bed availability shifted as did the hospital's needs, and the hospital wanted its cardio bed back. I was then moved to the fifth floor, and things changed a great deal.

First, though I didn't need it, I was placed in an 'isolation' room which is a regular sized room with a sort of "outer office" for family rest, and an extra sink and a place to put masks on etc. It's sort of like an airlock with the world, or more like a germ lock which it actually is.

I also get a direct view of down town with the original Wachovia "handle bar" building (now owned by Wells Fargo) that gives the Charlotte skyline her particular distinctiveness. This room itself brings me to tears of gratitude because I simply can not believe God loves me this much to give me so many fine things.

What's truly significant is that I have a nurse who worked with the doctor to authorize a much higher pain protocol. I'm now on 2mg of dilauded every four hours. while this is nice, my fear is that I won't get home from here.

This protocol can not be administered at home, because a narcotic of this strength can and will be abused.

It's Sunday, and I'll wait to consult with my regular doctors once the working week gets going.  Also I'll be checking in with my priest as I'm not comfortable with a total avoidance of pain as the primary goal.  That just don't feel entirely Catholic, especially if there is still good work to be done, and this includes offering up pain for the good of others.

Blood Infusion Scheduled for Monday Morning

My last measurement of hemoglobin was 7.8. That's borderline. I could just wait for it to come back on its own, or wait for it to fall some more so there is no choice. I prefer to attack it now. I'm already taking iron suplements, so why wait?

I will first get a blood type and cross test done which I expect is stll A+. This is required 72 hours prior to infusion scheduled Monday morning.

It should help reduce fatigue.

3rd Burn Complete, Seven to Go!

The past couple of days have been difficult with higher pain levels, but worse than that has been fatigue.  Yesterday, Laura and Sarah took me to th ER because I was hitting PL 10 even though I was taking a bit more than my normal level of medication. (I had called first, to get authorization.)

I then went to ER for pain control. In seven hours, I was a good deal better and went home. We decided that the problem was that on the previos day, I had three doctors appointments, and I took it upon myself to walk around the campus rather than take the wheel chair that had been offered. While I left the last appointment at PL 2, once I was home and began resting, my muscles were not going to let me forget that I had over exerted myself.

Additionally, my whole body was feeling generalized fatigue from the radiation.

The great news however, is that I can already feel more range of motion in my left arm!

Non nobis, Domine, non nobis,
sed nomini tuo da gloriam!

Thinking About Tomorrow

The country would seem to be in a serious political crissis. With all the noise in the media, and having the belief, that in a couple of years, it won't be my problem much longer. God and His church will survive it anyway, I peeked over my wife's shoulder as she eas working a political blog.

I kissed her and commended her for keeping up the fight for the country that she and the children will continue to live in.

Well I poked around and found a video that I enjoyed. As much as we might complain that the next generation is so ill prepared to think very hard, and could keep Clinton in the race this long, there are people who prove that there is leadership to hope for in the next generation.

I commend Mr Logan for having published this, and Sheriff Clark for his leadership.

Keep up the good fight Mr. A.B, Logan, Laura and all you who will temain part of the Church Militant,

Saint Matthew 5-5 :
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after justice: for they shall have their fill.

But do remember to keep the two great commandments ahead of all else.
To paraphrase the great St Thomas More. so well portrayed in Paul Scofield's movie "A Man for All Seasons".

Be a good servant of these here United States, but God's first.

Metastasis in Left Arm

I had an MRI focusing on the left shoulder on the 13th. It was very painful, so I had to quit after the first third of pictures was taken, and could not handle the full test.  I wish general anestesia was prescribed for this.

I was not able to hold very still, and so it produced poor quality images, however, they were good enough to prove that a previously seen metastasis had grown signifcantly, and my oncologist referred me to my radiologist, Dr. Bobo, for treatment.

The new pain since Wednesday has been high enough, that palliative care raised my oxycodone perscription by 25%, and I don't feel ready to go back lower doses.

I'm very happy that there is finally some treatment for this arm! Maybe not so happy the tumor has grown, but I am happy there's a good treatment option for the arm.

No Complaints

I promised that for this month, I would offer no complaints of any kind. Well trust me, had I not made that promise, I would have a lot to post today.  To keep the promise, It would probably be best to quit while I was ahead.

So through all that I did suffer today, I will just simply thank God for my wife and ask that he ease her sufferings. That is about all I can say and keep my July Promise not to complain.

A New Month and a New Approach to the Blog

Latelty I have not been pleased with the way I have been writing. There has been far too much complaining about this pain or that financial circumstance. I have just become completely displeased with what and how I've been writing.

My resolution is that for the month of July there will be no further complaining. I hope I shall be able to keep this promise for the remainder of my days, but we shall simply continue to make the pledge one month at a time.

I actually have two posts in draft, one of which I think I will just toss entirely. I don't think it will fit the spirit of where I want to go.

To this end, I offer this small prayer :

---

God the Father has a plan,
God the Son has a plan,
God the Holy Ghost has a plan.

From this one, Holy, Triune, God with both a human and Divine nature, Who not only transcends time, but He created it.  His plan is infinitely better than what this young, little, defective, human mind can dream, I must simply wait for it and pray I recognize it when it comes.

On the night our Savior was to be born,  Saint Joseph could find no room for the young Holy Family. Dear Saint Joseph, grant to me that I may share with you the fear and anxiety you felt as door after door were closed upon yourself, The Blessed Virgin and The Unborn God that she carried that bitterly cold night.

Holy Saint Joseph, grant that from sharing even the smallest portion of your sufferings, that you would give me the smallest measure of your peace, and in God's time, that I may find the stable God has prepared for us, His children.

I ask this through the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, Amen.

We're Covered!

At least for the present.

The LTD has still not completed its drscision.  They are still hunting for evidence that the cancer was pre-existing to when I started work with Heartland on 9/1/2015.

Sure I can understand that it seems unlikely that cancer would be discovered seven days after the policy began.  But of course it was the truth.  I avoided making any kind of medical record for the month of July 2015,  because despite what Obama care promises, I don't trust that they actually work.

I did not guess cancer at all, but I just didn't want to go into the next policy with any new discoveries.

So who is Prudential asking to find out if I had pre-existing conditions? Damned if I know. So I have no idea who to call and build a fire under.  Bottom line - I should have LTD income as of mid June, but Prudential has not made thier descision yet. However, when it does come, I am assired my back pay will reach back to June 11th.

The top line of my budget that says "income" is still 0.

However, this post is one of thanks.

Laura's parents are our benefactors for this and have paid two months of our COBRA.

Now we were promised this would not only continue our previos plan with United Health Care, but we would also get the very same policy numbers so our $4000 a year max out of pocket would still be considered met.

Well, someone is keeping promises, because the tamsulosin which would have retailed at $87 and cost us $17.40 turned out to be free of charge.  Laura later ordered insulin supplies which can cost a good deal, also free of charge.  So my MRI for my shoulder whoch we've deferred also should have 0 co-pay.

Hopefully LTD will show up before August will be due. Meanwhile, we stock up on all medications, especially that $10,000 bottle of Zytiga.