I do not expect this to be nearly as good as one of Eric's posts, but here goes. I am Eric's wife Laura. I managed to find my way into his blog to tell you all that Eric Michael Woolhiser died September 24, 2016 at 13:40. The hospice nurses came. Father Reid from Saint Ann's came and gave the last rites and the apostolic blessing. He was wearing his brown scapular when he died. As he was dying he was comforted by family and friends. He had the requiem mass that he wanted on October 1st and he will have a military burial on Wednesday in Salisbury, NC at the National Cemetery.The house that he built for us has been full of family and friends all of August, September and likely a good part of October. I do not know how to express that this way of doing a funeral is well worth it. So many people's death's are ignored. People flew in from all over the world and drove here. It is worth it to dress up and spend time with all the family and friends. These collective memories are wonderful and part of our cultural heritage that should not be ignored.
There is no way to properly express our gratitude to all the family, friends and complete strangers, who have prayed for us, provided us dinners and donated to the cancer and burial expenses. We hear so much bad news all the time, but there are so many people out there who are truly wonderful. We pray for our benefactors all the time. As Eric has said "Ingratitude has never entered heaven", so you know that he is praying for you all.
God Bless You!
Laura Catherine Stapf Woolhiser
Monday, October 3, 2016
Friday, September 23, 2016
After Action Report - Yesterday's Power Loss
We lost power yesterday and for many hours, my bed was stuck where my body was bent in more than a 90 angle, and I had to be careful to keep up a shallow breathing or I simply was not going to survive the day.
This was no exaggeration on my part.
Charlotte Fire had to be called.
Still, even with power available, it is a chore to be sure that I can keep a breathing power posture, and as I write this, it's clear I need to switch to hospice care such that I can simply keep breathing, so that I can simply keep breathing, and we can get very simple tasks like breathing operating and we can make it possible to get from one breath to another.
I would like to tell you more about the adventure, but to be honest, there is a lot to tell, and this currently more than I can say about the great response we got from the fire dept and we'll have to save it for another day. but it's clear I need more help than can be provided for at home.
I simply need to suck it up, and get full care, and breathe.
more detail later, but it's now simply too much danger than can otherwise be considered.
Laura and family were/are great but it's plainly too high of a risk to otherwise think about.
This was no exaggeration on my part.
Charlotte Fire had to be called.
Still, even with power available, it is a chore to be sure that I can keep a breathing power posture, and as I write this, it's clear I need to switch to hospice care such that I can simply keep breathing, so that I can simply keep breathing, and we can get very simple tasks like breathing operating and we can make it possible to get from one breath to another.
I would like to tell you more about the adventure, but to be honest, there is a lot to tell, and this currently more than I can say about the great response we got from the fire dept and we'll have to save it for another day. but it's clear I need more help than can be provided for at home.
I simply need to suck it up, and get full care, and breathe.
more detail later, but it's now simply too much danger than can otherwise be considered.
Laura and family were/are great but it's plainly too high of a risk to otherwise think about.
Monday, August 29, 2016
Stuff that should be addressed
Forgive me for being so tardy in posts lately. I can say that it was well deserved as I was just trying to get organized as a lot has happened to me, but it there also has been a tremendous amount of issues that have occurred outside my four walls, that while not very timely, I feel we need to talk about.
Last night for example, my mother and Jim were up for a return visit from Massachusetts. We had watched "Taking Chance" which raises an important massages that really are not top of mind for most veterans and they should be.
It's a great film, and it should get more attention then it does, so I figure I should share some of the ideas, and hopefully we can all agree that there are a few holes to raise, and less ignorance on the whole.
Last night for example, my mother and Jim were up for a return visit from Massachusetts. We had watched "Taking Chance" which raises an important massages that really are not top of mind for most veterans and they should be.
It's a great film, and it should get more attention then it does, so I figure I should share some of the ideas, and hopefully we can all agree that there are a few holes to raise, and less ignorance on the whole.
Saturday, August 27, 2016
OK Building the new Table
With Mike's help we got a substantial bit of building the new table done. I had expected that the new table wouldn't actually arrive until Monday, or the latest would be Wednesday the 1st.Here was the initial set up at the hospice bed so we didn't mount all the cabling and you see it's a bit of a rat's nest. Later, Mike and I were able to do better with the table that did arrive home a week before expected, and we're trying to reduce the connections between the table and the desktop so it should snap together in about five minutes.
Carlos Johnson and his wife was able to visit yesterday and today from Massachusetts, and this is the very first post I've been able to make from the bed inside my home bedroom. The ergonomics are still not quite correct, as they are still leaving my back slightly twisted - and this will have to be corrected before I do too much work, or I will have a lot of back pain. It holds a lot of promise though, and already I can easily type a good ten times faster than on an iPhone, and I can see my typographical errors so much more easily.
Julie also arrived this morning and surprised me by just walking in with a glass of milk for my initial breakfast. There are still a few things to do like get me on a hard wired network rather than the WiFi, but still, this is a very great improvement over the iPhone.
Laura and I were even able to get some bills out like the medical premium. We'll wait until Monday to get the other stuff out with the co-operation of Michael and start working on ownership transfers and getting the money directly to Laura in the future. Again, I'm still worried to be this close to getting the essentials done, while also being at risk of on food while in bed and not having it all done.
Also, Michael was able to get his leave extended to April 6th, so we have to work fast to get the house transfer all squared away.
However, I also don't think God would have brought us this close without actually getting it all done either. It's all going to work out nicely, and as I've said before, having these small challenges are entertaining in themselves.
Wednesday, August 24, 2016
We're Trying to get Out - and pack like a Rock Show
We're Trying to get Out - and Pack Like a Rock Show
After getting most of the internet working here at the Hospice House here in Monroe, we're ready to pack it all up again to get back hoping that it can easily be packed in two cars and easily set up in the new destination. weather that be home or the Hospice House. Hopefully we can get it down to two - three boxes of dedicated luggage so that all components have a specific place and nothing gets missed.
Along with that we need to develop a list of how to get the network up.
To connect to the Hostpice - there are 3 Wifi Networks that expose them selves, networks Here at the Host The CHSGuest should be connected. Success seems to come by opening Chrome first .
This should open a browser where you assent for Guest Credentials. Once that's up, all other networks and ports seem to work well including EVE online. and Amazon Prime. I assume I can get to Net-flicks and YouTube pretty easily.
It seems that also CCP has made some recent changes to the EVE Online launcher and there's some 7 GB of files for the new launcher to down but I will defer those until I am at home and have a network I better understand.
I will then produce a better home coming connection guide for when I'm home.
I'm looking forward to making my home coming instruction set, when I get the new over the bed table dedicated to the desktop table. This table will get drilling and special mounting hardware so that the break down and build up process is as seamless as possible.
I will try to see if we can build a dual monitor support on the next table, but each monitor weighs 10.4 pounds, and I have to be concerned about the advantages of a leftward anchored table vs a rightward anchored table given the weakness of the left arm.
The left arm is stronger, but it might not be the case. Some experimentation is in order, because I still need to adjust what will later become the dinner table and miscellaneous stuff like urine bottles, and stuff. I also have to be sure that I don't produce something that will be in the way of health care workers who will see unfamiliar equipment that may get into their way on first glance.
Saturday, August 20, 2016
Closer to the End
Two days ago, the neuropathy hit me again in the legs. I can't feel them from the waist down.
It's no longer safe for me to get out of bed at this time. I'm guessing that the nerve damage has increased in my spine, and without treatment, there's no real hope things will improve. I can still get to my feet, and with some help get to the toilet to void my colon, or my hospice nurse will get me to the shower, but there's little more I can do.
I can hear my joints progressively creak, and I wonder how long my arms will still serve me.
Who can say at this point. Before I elected hospice care, Dr. Burgess predicted that I would not make it to Christmas, and he also said death may come in the Sping. I do feel things are degrading, and it's coming sooner than later.
St Ann's is sending me the sacraments at least weekly, so much of what I need, I am getting, and so very grateful to have Our Lord visit me as He has.
We still have legal affairs to accomplish, such as deeding the house to Mike, transferring my Disabilty income to Laura, and also my car needs to change hands.
Hopefully we can get most of these done this week.
I'm also hoping that Kim and Mike can build me a better bedside table so that I can get to my full sized computer, and get some memoirs done. Other than that, I think "My Rides Here" and I'm as ready as anyone could be.
It's no longer safe for me to get out of bed at this time. I'm guessing that the nerve damage has increased in my spine, and without treatment, there's no real hope things will improve. I can still get to my feet, and with some help get to the toilet to void my colon, or my hospice nurse will get me to the shower, but there's little more I can do.
I can hear my joints progressively creak, and I wonder how long my arms will still serve me.
Who can say at this point. Before I elected hospice care, Dr. Burgess predicted that I would not make it to Christmas, and he also said death may come in the Sping. I do feel things are degrading, and it's coming sooner than later.
St Ann's is sending me the sacraments at least weekly, so much of what I need, I am getting, and so very grateful to have Our Lord visit me as He has.
We still have legal affairs to accomplish, such as deeding the house to Mike, transferring my Disabilty income to Laura, and also my car needs to change hands.
Hopefully we can get most of these done this week.
I'm also hoping that Kim and Mike can build me a better bedside table so that I can get to my full sized computer, and get some memoirs done. Other than that, I think "My Rides Here" and I'm as ready as anyone could be.
Thursday, August 18, 2016
Last Night's Adventure in Pain
To begin, last night was very painful because I was taking less medication than I was authorized. So a lot of this pain, I created for myself.
However, since this is the first time that I have died, the process is still a little new to me and I have more to learn. With hospice care, I actually have access to a nurse for 24x7. All I need do is call. For the past couple of nights, the nurse on the phone would review my current medication plan and simply tell me to take more.
But here's a couple of tips to pass onto anyone who's doing this same sort of thing.
First, keep a good log of all the medicine you do take as you take it for example, my log looks something like this :
8/16 02:30 30mg Oxy - PL 8
8/15 23:35 30mg Oxy - PL 4
and so on - this I keep as a little note that I keep on my iPhone. But where it's useful is when I have that phone call with the on call nurse, instead of reading it over the phone, I email it directly to the nurse, and she can see exactly what I am doing.
Instantly, she can read it for an accurate judgement of what I should do next.
Last night, the pain was so bad, that they actually sent a nurse to the house at 02:00, and my wife greeted her at the door.
I didn't know that this is what the service actually can do. Sure I get regular visits to monitor other things, but all it took was a single phone call to get help.
Well the nurse examined my legs for bruises and other problems and concluded that a large source of trouble was just how the airmatress was working, and because of my height, I was sliding into the foot of the bed, producing a lot of pressure pains.
With a little work on pillows, we fixed it, and circulation was restored as it should be.
Problem solved, and I can rest.
However, since this is the first time that I have died, the process is still a little new to me and I have more to learn. With hospice care, I actually have access to a nurse for 24x7. All I need do is call. For the past couple of nights, the nurse on the phone would review my current medication plan and simply tell me to take more.
But here's a couple of tips to pass onto anyone who's doing this same sort of thing.
First, keep a good log of all the medicine you do take as you take it for example, my log looks something like this :
8/16 02:30 30mg Oxy - PL 8
8/15 23:35 30mg Oxy - PL 4
and so on - this I keep as a little note that I keep on my iPhone. But where it's useful is when I have that phone call with the on call nurse, instead of reading it over the phone, I email it directly to the nurse, and she can see exactly what I am doing.
Instantly, she can read it for an accurate judgement of what I should do next.
Last night, the pain was so bad, that they actually sent a nurse to the house at 02:00, and my wife greeted her at the door.
I didn't know that this is what the service actually can do. Sure I get regular visits to monitor other things, but all it took was a single phone call to get help.
Well the nurse examined my legs for bruises and other problems and concluded that a large source of trouble was just how the airmatress was working, and because of my height, I was sliding into the foot of the bed, producing a lot of pressure pains.
With a little work on pillows, we fixed it, and circulation was restored as it should be.
Problem solved, and I can rest.
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
Therefore I say to you, be not solicitus for your life...
From the Gospel according to Saint Matthew chapter 6, which I have long reguarded as my favorite passage of the whole Bible, I've tried to keep myself from anxiety.
Our Blessed Lord has always kept His promise to me, and today I weep with joy for all these good graces He has given to me, why should I dare to think that His limitless mercy should end with my life?
With a very encouraging talk I had with Katherine before she returned to Arkansas, she showed me that regardless of my failure to provide a financial legacy strong enough to keep my wife and kids sustained in this wonderful property we now enjoy, the children will draw to each other and the family will keep close to itself.
There are strong bonds of love that will continue to bind them to each other despite what little fortune I may leave behind for them. I really should just be ready at any time with full peace that God and his saints will keep them safe and well cared for as they have always done for me.
It's when I think of the great generation of the Friguletti's, that had held my mother's aunts and uncles together, that I can have great confidence that this generation of Woolhisers should do at least as well if not better. My children are at a better starting place than the Friguletti's at the time of their parents' deaths.
Oh I should tell more of that story here once I can edit from a better UI than this iPhone. I haven't heard as much about it as I should.
M children should know it's a part of who they are and how close they are to repeating the good parts of that story in thier own lives! As it is, they didn't even know the name of that set of ancestors, and I am remiss at telling those stories. It really needs to be passed down about our first generations to enter the country.
Our Blessed Lord has always kept His promise to me, and today I weep with joy for all these good graces He has given to me, why should I dare to think that His limitless mercy should end with my life?
With a very encouraging talk I had with Katherine before she returned to Arkansas, she showed me that regardless of my failure to provide a financial legacy strong enough to keep my wife and kids sustained in this wonderful property we now enjoy, the children will draw to each other and the family will keep close to itself.
There are strong bonds of love that will continue to bind them to each other despite what little fortune I may leave behind for them. I really should just be ready at any time with full peace that God and his saints will keep them safe and well cared for as they have always done for me.
It's when I think of the great generation of the Friguletti's, that had held my mother's aunts and uncles together, that I can have great confidence that this generation of Woolhisers should do at least as well if not better. My children are at a better starting place than the Friguletti's at the time of their parents' deaths.
Oh I should tell more of that story here once I can edit from a better UI than this iPhone. I haven't heard as much about it as I should.
M children should know it's a part of who they are and how close they are to repeating the good parts of that story in thier own lives! As it is, they didn't even know the name of that set of ancestors, and I am remiss at telling those stories. It really needs to be passed down about our first generations to enter the country.
Friday, August 12, 2016
It's Getting to be a Lot Like Christmas Each Day
With all these wonderful visits from children and old friends from Massachusetts, and Florida, I currently find myself awake at these hours waiting for the next days events.
Yet, we all need the time for rest and sleep.
Can you imagine what heaven may be like without the phyisical needs of the body, and considering the long and distinguished guest list, appart from our own Blessed Lord and Lady!
I have dozens of favorite movies that I love to share, imagine actually going to those moments in time, hidden from natural view, but actually witnessing the Passion and Crucifixion of Our Blessed Lord. To see the Sorrows of Our Lady, as her lifeless Son is layed so tenderly in her arms!
I'm no poet, so I can't express my poor imagination for such things. However, for these natural moments I get to share with Gerry Benitz, Paul Farynaz, my wife, my children, my parents and nephew, it is Christmas to me to lie here in bed at four in the morning waiting for an early breakfast - id est, waiting for Saint Nicholas to come.
Soon my old friend Carlos Johnson plans to also visit.
And even my father plans to come for a couple of days.
I can't thank God enough for all these great gifts. I just pray for enough stength not to sleep through too much of it. I thank you all for makng such a special time for me.
I wish my arms could embrace you all at once.
Hugs and kisses to you all,
I think I can roll over for a bit and wait for breakfast.
Yet, we all need the time for rest and sleep.
Can you imagine what heaven may be like without the phyisical needs of the body, and considering the long and distinguished guest list, appart from our own Blessed Lord and Lady!
I have dozens of favorite movies that I love to share, imagine actually going to those moments in time, hidden from natural view, but actually witnessing the Passion and Crucifixion of Our Blessed Lord. To see the Sorrows of Our Lady, as her lifeless Son is layed so tenderly in her arms!
I'm no poet, so I can't express my poor imagination for such things. However, for these natural moments I get to share with Gerry Benitz, Paul Farynaz, my wife, my children, my parents and nephew, it is Christmas to me to lie here in bed at four in the morning waiting for an early breakfast - id est, waiting for Saint Nicholas to come.
Soon my old friend Carlos Johnson plans to also visit.
And even my father plans to come for a couple of days.
I can't thank God enough for all these great gifts. I just pray for enough stength not to sleep through too much of it. I thank you all for makng such a special time for me.
I wish my arms could embrace you all at once.
Hugs and kisses to you all,
I think I can roll over for a bit and wait for breakfast.
Thursday, August 11, 2016
Michael and all Sailors Are Home Now
Mike was flown back to Groton, and was able to collect his car and his computer, and bting those comforts to Charlotte.
Also, Laura says that my two good friends, Paul Farynaz snd Gerry Benitz are in town picking up thier rental car and motel, and should be at the house in a couple of hours. I'm getting a bit short of breath for the first time in months, and it just might be due to s change in oral steriods. My previously organized bath counter is a mess since return from hospice, and maybe I haven't got my new steroids in the pill sorter like I should have.
I slept in the new bed last night and it's pretty comfortable, but I am waiting for a mattress replacement. We want an air mattress that will have an air pump to keep me from getting a decubitus ulcer, which could happen as it's still difficult to roll onto one side or another, despite the good results from Dr. Bobo's treatments.
All seems to be well though.
Also, Laura says that my two good friends, Paul Farynaz snd Gerry Benitz are in town picking up thier rental car and motel, and should be at the house in a couple of hours. I'm getting a bit short of breath for the first time in months, and it just might be due to s change in oral steriods. My previously organized bath counter is a mess since return from hospice, and maybe I haven't got my new steroids in the pill sorter like I should have.
I slept in the new bed last night and it's pretty comfortable, but I am waiting for a mattress replacement. We want an air mattress that will have an air pump to keep me from getting a decubitus ulcer, which could happen as it's still difficult to roll onto one side or another, despite the good results from Dr. Bobo's treatments.
All seems to be well though.
Tuesday, August 9, 2016
New Discharge Papers
As we speak, the doctor is setting us up for our ride back to our house just off of 160 to live in my regular bed while we await the refurbished medical bed for the house.
I had a lot of pictures on my phone of Lenore, the dogs and support already waiting for us. once we get there. snd other people and things around the house that helped "sell" the idea that I can move home today, and help feed and clean myself as needed.
Again the timing of all this is perfect for what we want to do over the next few months.
Thank God for providing such a growth experience!
Pax Vobiscum!
Looking forward to the next few days of adustments.
I had a lot of pictures on my phone of Lenore, the dogs and support already waiting for us. once we get there. snd other people and things around the house that helped "sell" the idea that I can move home today, and help feed and clean myself as needed.
Again the timing of all this is perfect for what we want to do over the next few months.
Thank God for providing such a growth experience!
Pax Vobiscum!
Looking forward to the next few days of adustments.
Monday, August 8, 2016
Great news! Michael Has Surfaced
He won't give specifics, only that he's now above water.
It may be for security reasons , just to obscure where his ship is at this point, but what's important is that he's transmitting and receiving at normal surphace speeds, and we don't have to weight for sub-surphace radio propagation, which can take days
It may be for security reasons , just to obscure where his ship is at this point, but what's important is that he's transmitting and receiving at normal surphace speeds, and we don't have to weight for sub-surphace radio propagation, which can take days
Sunday, August 7, 2016
So Yes a Bed is Available
I just got word that one of the twelve beds available in the Monroe, North Carolina facility will be ready for me at16:00 today, and that I should be there for about twelve days while they set up my home care back in Berewick and get the right medicine for me. Again, we have to wean me from IV Dilaudid and ring up a matching dose of Oxycodone and Metheadone that is legal for home care.
Hopefully it will be close, and ideally there will be some pain left over for a catholic offering for friends, family, and a world in need of reparations for sins it habitually commits against the will of God our great Lady.
I will be posting various intentions needed here, should you want to psrticipate.
I will have Father Reid check over what I believe is a good formula to teach how to pray and offer intentions as I believe are correct, and should get us into life long habits should you wish to offer your prayers.
The Monroe facility has space for one family member or caregiver to stay overnight. There is a protected bird sanctuary, two large sun rooms a family dining area, chapple, labyrinth garden and both indoor and outdoor children's play area for younger visitors. The pamphlet does not explicity mention space for patient's dogs, but we should be able to acomoate our more sedate dogs like Styker, as a one dog at a time accomodation. It should be enough to try once at least.
he's my first choice to try.
The address is 700 West Rossevelt in Monroe, and should have two of our kids to hustle Stryker if need be, please bring a decent lead. I'm looking forward for this first stay and Styker seemed to have moped about the best and deserved it most.
I will be calling USAA tomorrow to get the ION online so that Kim or Mike will be ready to drive it ASAP when able. Oh yea, Kim's going to need to get some stick lessons soon!
Anyway, looking forward to it, just wishing it wasn't such a drive from Berewick. The experience will be good though.
Hopefully it will be close, and ideally there will be some pain left over for a catholic offering for friends, family, and a world in need of reparations for sins it habitually commits against the will of God our great Lady.
I will be posting various intentions needed here, should you want to psrticipate.
I will have Father Reid check over what I believe is a good formula to teach how to pray and offer intentions as I believe are correct, and should get us into life long habits should you wish to offer your prayers.
The Monroe facility has space for one family member or caregiver to stay overnight. There is a protected bird sanctuary, two large sun rooms a family dining area, chapple, labyrinth garden and both indoor and outdoor children's play area for younger visitors. The pamphlet does not explicity mention space for patient's dogs, but we should be able to acomoate our more sedate dogs like Styker, as a one dog at a time accomodation. It should be enough to try once at least.
he's my first choice to try.
The address is 700 West Rossevelt in Monroe, and should have two of our kids to hustle Stryker if need be, please bring a decent lead. I'm looking forward for this first stay and Styker seemed to have moped about the best and deserved it most.
I will be calling USAA tomorrow to get the ION online so that Kim or Mike will be ready to drive it ASAP when able. Oh yea, Kim's going to need to get some stick lessons soon!
Anyway, looking forward to it, just wishing it wasn't such a drive from Berewick. The experience will be good though.
This Looks Like the Day We Finally Get Home From the Hospital
We may have to use time at the hospice to get the right drugs legal gor home, but we should be setteled in by the end of the week and have places for the dogs, dirty laundry, food, gardening and just generally getting the next few months right for visits from all our good friends into one house right. Hopefully a good eye towards flexibility of the yet un-finished basement.
Remember, you are my best editors, so if there are errors in my spelling et al, let me know. Send me comments and concerns so we get it all squared away.
Still no word from Red Cross on Michael's boat, and it's probably not useful to even speculate on his condition, we just have to wait on the Navies' best time to surface Mike, and then return to their missission.
Consider, the USN has not lost a submarine since the USS Scorpion in 1968, there's a pretty good indication of thier safety record, and we just get patient for that.
Truthfully, the safest place for any US Sailor is in the hands of Admiral HG Rickover and his Navy.
May God bless all who sail in harm's way for the for the defense of this nation!
Remember, you are my best editors, so if there are errors in my spelling et al, let me know. Send me comments and concerns so we get it all squared away.
Still no word from Red Cross on Michael's boat, and it's probably not useful to even speculate on his condition, we just have to wait on the Navies' best time to surface Mike, and then return to their missission.
Consider, the USN has not lost a submarine since the USS Scorpion in 1968, there's a pretty good indication of thier safety record, and we just get patient for that.
Truthfully, the safest place for any US Sailor is in the hands of Admiral HG Rickover and his Navy.
May God bless all who sail in harm's way for the for the defense of this nation!
Friday, August 5, 2016
Kim will be in soon
http://flightaware.com/live/flight/id/AAL724-1470201972-airline-0011
But for me, there's a delay to get me to an intermediary bed at the hospice facility before they get me on the pain meds legal for home. At which point I get transported to home to a hospital quality bed most likely set up in the sitting room next to the master bed room, and set up for the "Happy Death" room that Fr. Reid predicted I would be granted from the unlimited mercies of God. As ss aleays, I had never expected that I should be grsnted such a grace to die so peacefully, and it brings me to tears to think He has loved me this much to grant me this special grace. I pray that Our Blessed Lord will be able to grant you all this wonderful way to die, with all your pets, and as many as your loved ones to be around to share it.
I have never been at anyone's death bed before, and all I have seen are those wonderful moments dramatized on film such as Saint Bernadette's death bed in "Song of Bernadette" or even execution scenes from holy matyrs such as Saint Thomas More in "a Man for all Seasons" snd even fictional scenes like men dying in "They Were Expendable" or "The Enemy Below".
I've often hoped for s heroic death like that, but as I look at the wonderful kids that Laura and I have raiscd, We are in no doubt very blessed parents to have got this far, and to declair "BZ - Well Done - Mission Accomplished. I hope that perhaps at the head stone, someone will think to tie a upside down broom in the tradition of naval victories. in recognition that Laura, myself, our parents and all the siblings have raised a victory for this generstion of Woolhisers. We all have much to be proud of and thankful for.
Mom and I couldn't be happier with you all, and to keep up the good work, and hold onto each other for the successes yet to come.
Update -
Kim is in USA, and her baggage has been misplaced somewhere between LAX and CLT, but are expected soon.
Please send comments in soon. This helps to keep my interests up too!
Mom and I couldn't be happier with you all, and to keep up the good work, and hold onto each other for the successes yet to come.
Update -
Kim is in USA, and her baggage has been misplaced somewhere between LAX and CLT, but are expected soon.
Please send comments in soon. This helps to keep my interests up too!
ET2 Kimberlely Woolhiser Reported Landing at LAX
She got down in LAX, she depart at 08:35 PDT and will arrive AAL 742 on an airbus 321 Charlotte, arriving at 16:45 EDT currently flying over Albuquerque, NM.
The real time status is available on Flight Aware , right now. She will be at gate C21.
The real time status is available on Flight Aware , right now. She will be at gate C21.
Thursday, August 4, 2016
Schedule Snafu - for Hospice
And I hope I'm getting this right, I'm getting a lot of distractions to process, and the more distractions, the lower my "lucid perception level" goes down with my doctprs and the less the doctors are going to trust me make the best descions i can. You must all let me rest and utialize this blog more. Please comment on the blog more.
So the latest problem is that the hospital must see me manage pain medication for 48 hours without resorting to heavy opiods that I am not permitted to use while at home. They need to put me into a temporary hospice facility without access to these drugs before letting me home or keep me in hospital and segragate me from such drugs.
How long that will be, I can't say because I didn't actually clock my start time. I have been too busy trying to listening to some three doctors, nine nurses and help from nursing assistants and a bunch of family with limited information gleaned from dozens of friends who have had non-relavent incedental information of their cancer experiences. I try to be as polite as possible, but your information does not apply to me, and I shouldn't be listening to it.
So let's report things I do know and can share. Stephen is in Charlotte, we are trying to preoare my master bed room so that it meets with the needs of hospice care, that will tske some time as we meed to have the room de-cluttered of junk, and able to receive the hospice bed which should take one day after I arrive.
Kim is due to arrive in Charlotte on 8/5 16:34 EDT at the airport.
Mike's submarine is still 'dark' to Red Cross. Red Cross can confirm that the sub has heard our messsge, but we do not know when or where he shall surface.
This is important because only Michael has been given Health Card Proxy Attorney. If I go down now with a DNR and Mike's not here to reverse it, I won't legally live. so we have to wait on Michael some.
There's just too much to do and I need Mike available, for this descision. So how long before I get out of the hospice care? It depends on how soon thst will be, and I don't know my start clock yet.
So please, help me, and read the blog and give me time to write it. You must read it for it to working.
So the latest problem is that the hospital must see me manage pain medication for 48 hours without resorting to heavy opiods that I am not permitted to use while at home. They need to put me into a temporary hospice facility without access to these drugs before letting me home or keep me in hospital and segragate me from such drugs.
How long that will be, I can't say because I didn't actually clock my start time. I have been too busy trying to listening to some three doctors, nine nurses and help from nursing assistants and a bunch of family with limited information gleaned from dozens of friends who have had non-relavent incedental information of their cancer experiences. I try to be as polite as possible, but your information does not apply to me, and I shouldn't be listening to it.
So let's report things I do know and can share. Stephen is in Charlotte, we are trying to preoare my master bed room so that it meets with the needs of hospice care, that will tske some time as we meed to have the room de-cluttered of junk, and able to receive the hospice bed which should take one day after I arrive.
Kim is due to arrive in Charlotte on 8/5 16:34 EDT at the airport.
Mike's submarine is still 'dark' to Red Cross. Red Cross can confirm that the sub has heard our messsge, but we do not know when or where he shall surface.
This is important because only Michael has been given Health Card Proxy Attorney. If I go down now with a DNR and Mike's not here to reverse it, I won't legally live. so we have to wait on Michael some.
There's just too much to do and I need Mike available, for this descision. So how long before I get out of the hospice care? It depends on how soon thst will be, and I don't know my start clock yet.
So please, help me, and read the blog and give me time to write it. You must read it for it to working.
The latest info
I try to keep up with everyone's requests for info, but with 30-50 requests a day and the fact thst circumstsnces will chsnge every 30 minutes or so, I just simply can not keep up.
I try to call or text, but i get so worn out, i might fall asleep in the middle of rrturning you answer. Please try to read the blog first. It's going to ne the very best way to keep you all up to date.
I can not be answering the same question every 30 minutes and be listening to doctors and be making the best descisions. I do love to tslk to everyone, but simply can't keep up, keep awake and make some very frightening descidions regarding "Do Not Recsuitate" orders and get them all critically right just to serve your level of convienuence of spoon fedding you information just the way you want.
Please tead the blog and get over it. Trust me, it is safe.
I try to call or text, but i get so worn out, i might fall asleep in the middle of rrturning you answer. Please try to read the blog first. It's going to ne the very best way to keep you all up to date.
I can not be answering the same question every 30 minutes and be listening to doctors and be making the best descisions. I do love to tslk to everyone, but simply can't keep up, keep awake and make some very frightening descidions regarding "Do Not Recsuitate" orders and get them all critically right just to serve your level of convienuence of spoon fedding you information just the way you want.
Please tead the blog and get over it. Trust me, it is safe.
Sunday, July 31, 2016
Well Maybe Not
I got admitted to the hospitsl because the pain was uncontrolled. The ER had me for a while, but kicked me upstairs. Due to bed availability, they dropped me on the third floor which is largely intended for cardiac care. Ironically, my heart is the one thing that gives me no trouble.
Being cardio care nurses, they hooked me up to monitors that I didn't need and things that seemed normal to them. It wasn't the right care fit for me. So, they gave me as much pain medication that seemed right to the nurses on that floor, and I would still hit Pain Level 10 and be in tears for hour or more at a stretch. Eventually, the bed availability shifted as did the hospital's needs, and the hospital wanted its cardio bed back. I was then moved to the fifth floor, and things changed a great deal.
First, though I didn't need it, I was placed in an 'isolation' room which is a regular sized room with a sort of "outer office" for family rest, and an extra sink and a place to put masks on etc. It's sort of like an airlock with the world, or more like a germ lock which it actually is.
I also get a direct view of down town with the original Wachovia "handle bar" building (now owned by Wells Fargo) that gives the Charlotte skyline her particular distinctiveness. This room itself brings me to tears of gratitude because I simply can not believe God loves me this much to give me so many fine things.
What's truly significant is that I have a nurse who worked with the doctor to authorize a much higher pain protocol. I'm now on 2mg of dilauded every four hours. while this is nice, my fear is that I won't get home from here.
This protocol can not be administered at home, because a narcotic of this strength can and will be abused.
It's Sunday, and I'll wait to consult with my regular doctors once the working week gets going. Also I'll be checking in with my priest as I'm not comfortable with a total avoidance of pain as the primary goal. That just don't feel entirely Catholic, especially if there is still good work to be done, and this includes offering up pain for the good of others.
Being cardio care nurses, they hooked me up to monitors that I didn't need and things that seemed normal to them. It wasn't the right care fit for me. So, they gave me as much pain medication that seemed right to the nurses on that floor, and I would still hit Pain Level 10 and be in tears for hour or more at a stretch. Eventually, the bed availability shifted as did the hospital's needs, and the hospital wanted its cardio bed back. I was then moved to the fifth floor, and things changed a great deal.
First, though I didn't need it, I was placed in an 'isolation' room which is a regular sized room with a sort of "outer office" for family rest, and an extra sink and a place to put masks on etc. It's sort of like an airlock with the world, or more like a germ lock which it actually is.
I also get a direct view of down town with the original Wachovia "handle bar" building (now owned by Wells Fargo) that gives the Charlotte skyline her particular distinctiveness. This room itself brings me to tears of gratitude because I simply can not believe God loves me this much to give me so many fine things.
What's truly significant is that I have a nurse who worked with the doctor to authorize a much higher pain protocol. I'm now on 2mg of dilauded every four hours. while this is nice, my fear is that I won't get home from here.
This protocol can not be administered at home, because a narcotic of this strength can and will be abused.
It's Sunday, and I'll wait to consult with my regular doctors once the working week gets going. Also I'll be checking in with my priest as I'm not comfortable with a total avoidance of pain as the primary goal. That just don't feel entirely Catholic, especially if there is still good work to be done, and this includes offering up pain for the good of others.
Friday, July 29, 2016
Blood Infusion Scheduled for Monday Morning
My last measurement of hemoglobin was 7.8. That's borderline. I could just wait for it to come back on its own, or wait for it to fall some more so there is no choice. I prefer to attack it now. I'm already taking iron suplements, so why wait?
I will first get a blood type and cross test done which I expect is stll A+. This is required 72 hours prior to infusion scheduled Monday morning.
It should help reduce fatigue.
I will first get a blood type and cross test done which I expect is stll A+. This is required 72 hours prior to infusion scheduled Monday morning.
It should help reduce fatigue.
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
3rd Burn Complete, Seven to Go!
The past couple of days have been difficult with higher pain levels, but worse than that has been fatigue. Yesterday, Laura and Sarah took me to th ER because I was hitting PL 10 even though I was taking a bit more than my normal level of medication. (I had called first, to get authorization.)
I then went to ER for pain control. In seven hours, I was a good deal better and went home. We decided that the problem was that on the previos day, I had three doctors appointments, and I took it upon myself to walk around the campus rather than take the wheel chair that had been offered. While I left the last appointment at PL 2, once I was home and began resting, my muscles were not going to let me forget that I had over exerted myself.
Additionally, my whole body was feeling generalized fatigue from the radiation.
The great news however, is that I can already feel more range of motion in my left arm!
Non nobis, Domine, non nobis,
sed nomini tuo da gloriam!
I then went to ER for pain control. In seven hours, I was a good deal better and went home. We decided that the problem was that on the previos day, I had three doctors appointments, and I took it upon myself to walk around the campus rather than take the wheel chair that had been offered. While I left the last appointment at PL 2, once I was home and began resting, my muscles were not going to let me forget that I had over exerted myself.
Additionally, my whole body was feeling generalized fatigue from the radiation.
The great news however, is that I can already feel more range of motion in my left arm!
Non nobis, Domine, non nobis,
sed nomini tuo da gloriam!
Tuesday, July 19, 2016
Thinking About Tomorrow
The country would seem to be in a serious political crissis. With all the noise in the media, and having the belief, that in a couple of years, it won't be my problem much longer. God and His church will survive it anyway, I peeked over my wife's shoulder as she eas working a political blog.
I kissed her and commended her for keeping up the fight for the country that she and the children will continue to live in.
Well I poked around and found a video that I enjoyed. As much as we might complain that the next generation is so ill prepared to think very hard, and could keep Clinton in the race this long, there are people who prove that there is leadership to hope for in the next generation.
I commend Mr Logan for having published this, and Sheriff Clark for his leadership.
Keep up the good fight Mr. A.B, Logan, Laura and all you who will temain part of the Church Militant,
Saint Matthew 5-5 :
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after justice: for they shall have their fill.
But do remember to keep the two great commandments ahead of all else.
To paraphrase the great St Thomas More. so well portrayed in Paul Scofield's movie "A Man for All Seasons".
Be a good servant of these here United States, but God's first.
Keep up the good fight Mr. A.B, Logan, Laura and all you who will temain part of the Church Militant,
Saint Matthew 5-5 :
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after justice: for they shall have their fill.
But do remember to keep the two great commandments ahead of all else.
To paraphrase the great St Thomas More. so well portrayed in Paul Scofield's movie "A Man for All Seasons".
Be a good servant of these here United States, but God's first.
Monday, July 18, 2016
Metastasis in Left Arm
I had an MRI focusing on the left shoulder on the 13th. It was very painful, so I had to quit after the first third of pictures was taken, and could not handle the full test. I wish general anestesia was prescribed for this.
I was not able to hold very still, and so it produced poor quality images, however, they were good enough to prove that a previously seen metastasis had grown signifcantly, and my oncologist referred me to my radiologist, Dr. Bobo, for treatment.
The new pain since Wednesday has been high enough, that palliative care raised my oxycodone perscription by 25%, and I don't feel ready to go back lower doses.
I'm very happy that there is finally some treatment for this arm! Maybe not so happy the tumor has grown, but I am happy there's a good treatment option for the arm.
I was not able to hold very still, and so it produced poor quality images, however, they were good enough to prove that a previously seen metastasis had grown signifcantly, and my oncologist referred me to my radiologist, Dr. Bobo, for treatment.
The new pain since Wednesday has been high enough, that palliative care raised my oxycodone perscription by 25%, and I don't feel ready to go back lower doses.
I'm very happy that there is finally some treatment for this arm! Maybe not so happy the tumor has grown, but I am happy there's a good treatment option for the arm.
Wednesday, July 13, 2016
No Complaints
I promised that for this month, I would offer no complaints of any kind. Well trust me, had I not made that promise, I would have a lot to post today. To keep the promise, It would probably be best to quit while I was ahead.
So through all that I did suffer today, I will just simply thank God for my wife and ask that he ease her sufferings. That is about all I can say and keep my July Promise not to complain.
So through all that I did suffer today, I will just simply thank God for my wife and ask that he ease her sufferings. That is about all I can say and keep my July Promise not to complain.
Friday, July 8, 2016
A New Month and a New Approach to the Blog
Latelty I have not been pleased with the way I have been writing. There has been far too much complaining about this pain or that financial circumstance. I have just become completely displeased with what and how I've been writing.
My resolution is that for the month of July there will be no further complaining. I hope I shall be able to keep this promise for the remainder of my days, but we shall simply continue to make the pledge one month at a time.
I actually have two posts in draft, one of which I think I will just toss entirely. I don't think it will fit the spirit of where I want to go.
To this end, I offer this small prayer :
God the Father has a plan,
God the Son has a plan,
God the Holy Ghost has a plan.
From this one, Holy, Triune, God with both a human and Divine nature, Who not only transcends time, but He created it. His plan is infinitely better than what this young, little, defective, human mind can dream, I must simply wait for it and pray I recognize it when it comes.
On the night our Savior was to be born, Saint Joseph could find no room for the young Holy Family. Dear Saint Joseph, grant to me that I may share with you the fear and anxiety you felt as door after door were closed upon yourself, The Blessed Virgin and The Unborn God that she carried that bitterly cold night.
Holy Saint Joseph, grant that from sharing even the smallest portion of your sufferings, that you would give me the smallest measure of your peace, and in God's time, that I may find the stable God has prepared for us, His children.
I ask this through the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, Amen.
My resolution is that for the month of July there will be no further complaining. I hope I shall be able to keep this promise for the remainder of my days, but we shall simply continue to make the pledge one month at a time.
I actually have two posts in draft, one of which I think I will just toss entirely. I don't think it will fit the spirit of where I want to go.
To this end, I offer this small prayer :
God the Father has a plan,
God the Son has a plan,
God the Holy Ghost has a plan.
From this one, Holy, Triune, God with both a human and Divine nature, Who not only transcends time, but He created it. His plan is infinitely better than what this young, little, defective, human mind can dream, I must simply wait for it and pray I recognize it when it comes.
On the night our Savior was to be born, Saint Joseph could find no room for the young Holy Family. Dear Saint Joseph, grant to me that I may share with you the fear and anxiety you felt as door after door were closed upon yourself, The Blessed Virgin and The Unborn God that she carried that bitterly cold night.
Holy Saint Joseph, grant that from sharing even the smallest portion of your sufferings, that you would give me the smallest measure of your peace, and in God's time, that I may find the stable God has prepared for us, His children.
I ask this through the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, Amen.
Saturday, July 2, 2016
We're Covered!
At least for the present.
The LTD has still not completed its drscision. They are still hunting for evidence that the cancer was pre-existing to when I started work with Heartland on 9/1/2015.
Sure I can understand that it seems unlikely that cancer would be discovered seven days after the policy began. But of course it was the truth. I avoided making any kind of medical record for the month of July 2015, because despite what Obama care promises, I don't trust that they actually work.
I did not guess cancer at all, but I just didn't want to go into the next policy with any new discoveries.
So who is Prudential asking to find out if I had pre-existing conditions? Damned if I know. So I have no idea who to call and build a fire under. Bottom line - I should have LTD income as of mid June, but Prudential has not made thier descision yet. However, when it does come, I am assired my back pay will reach back to June 11th.
The top line of my budget that says "income" is still 0.
However, this post is one of thanks.
Laura's parents are our benefactors for this and have paid two months of our COBRA.
Now we were promised this would not only continue our previos plan with United Health Care, but we would also get the very same policy numbers so our $4000 a year max out of pocket would still be considered met.
Well, someone is keeping promises, because the tamsulosin which would have retailed at $87 and cost us $17.40 turned out to be free of charge. Laura later ordered insulin supplies which can cost a good deal, also free of charge. So my MRI for my shoulder whoch we've deferred also should have 0 co-pay.
Hopefully LTD will show up before August will be due. Meanwhile, we stock up on all medications, especially that $10,000 bottle of Zytiga.
The LTD has still not completed its drscision. They are still hunting for evidence that the cancer was pre-existing to when I started work with Heartland on 9/1/2015.
Sure I can understand that it seems unlikely that cancer would be discovered seven days after the policy began. But of course it was the truth. I avoided making any kind of medical record for the month of July 2015, because despite what Obama care promises, I don't trust that they actually work.
I did not guess cancer at all, but I just didn't want to go into the next policy with any new discoveries.
So who is Prudential asking to find out if I had pre-existing conditions? Damned if I know. So I have no idea who to call and build a fire under. Bottom line - I should have LTD income as of mid June, but Prudential has not made thier descision yet. However, when it does come, I am assired my back pay will reach back to June 11th.
The top line of my budget that says "income" is still 0.
However, this post is one of thanks.
Laura's parents are our benefactors for this and have paid two months of our COBRA.
Now we were promised this would not only continue our previos plan with United Health Care, but we would also get the very same policy numbers so our $4000 a year max out of pocket would still be considered met.
Well, someone is keeping promises, because the tamsulosin which would have retailed at $87 and cost us $17.40 turned out to be free of charge. Laura later ordered insulin supplies which can cost a good deal, also free of charge. So my MRI for my shoulder whoch we've deferred also should have 0 co-pay.
Hopefully LTD will show up before August will be due. Meanwhile, we stock up on all medications, especially that $10,000 bottle of Zytiga.
Tuesday, June 28, 2016
I've fallen and I can't get up !
Forgive me for using such a well known and trademarked phrase. I can remember being in high school, class of 1982, and a lot of my peers found this funny.
Well I'm sure a lot of people of my generation have now learned this can be a very serious matter. All it takes is just a tiny stretch for something just a little outside of our reach and the next thing you know, and you've bent your knees just beyond 90 degrees with no chance to get them straight again. There you are, on the floor with one bad arm, two weak knees, and no hope to roll onto any side where you can even get your knees under you. Normally, if I'm reaching for an object that is on the floor, I know to take special precautions. e.g. I will often slide the object between my feet, stand over it with a walker and gently bend both knees to a 45, and pick up the stupid thing. However, there are times when you reach for something that's not exactly that simple, and so all of those cautionary techniques just don't come up to memory. In this case, I was wiping the front of the bathroom counter, and I reached too far. I knew I was in trouble before I was halfway down, but it was too late.
So I am screaming through the house for anyone to come to my aid. There is no answer. I don't hear any sound that would suggest there are humans in the house. Even my dogs which I had praised in the last post are on the other side of the closed bedroom door. Though there would have been nothing they could do, as I hadn't trained them, and they aren't service dogs.
I do have my phone, and can call and text. I know Laura is out providing transport for one of the kids. In fact, I was in the middle of a text with her as we were working some other details out.
"Is there anyone in the house? I can't get up." I send her. She gives me a rundown of where she believes everyone is. Apparently, Dustin IS in the house but is taking a shower and Theresa has walked Lenore half way to the HOA pool. I doubt what Laura is saying because I hear no water flow.
I resolve at this point that very soon I will talk to each of my neighbors and see if I can get them on a help me list and add to my phone contacts, but it don't help me now.
Laura says it's a little past 3 pm, and Matthew should be on his way home soon.
Meanwhile, I'm trying to figure out how to get my legs under the center of my body mass on my own. It's truly an engineering problem and I should be able to work this out - the trouble is that most of the machines I would use are compromised by pain or other weaknesses. Understand, it's not cancer that really causes me so much grief but it's what it is doing to my body each day that is the problem.
My walker is actually beyond my reach at this point too. Honestly, I was just going to the master bath sink trying to get my urine bottle, because one of the many gifts that this cancer has given me, is incontinence in certain occasions, so I keep a urine bottle because I doubt I can make it from my bed to the toilet in time. I expected to get support just by holding the counter top. BTW this also means my pants were below my knees when I fell, but at this point, I am beyond embarrassment, and will take help from any that can provide it.
I straighten my legs on the floor, and by rolling and alternating butt cheeks I'm able to pull my pants up little by little. This helps, because it's one less distraction to consider. Again I try to figure out which knee is strongest, and that I can bend enough to get under me.
Laura by this time had texted Matt to try to speed up his walk home from McDonalds about 1.5 miles away. Matt does arrive, and once we pick the critical knee, he pulls my right arm until I am kneeling on my right knee. A short pause to get circulation flowing through the back of the knees, and one final push up and I'm on my feet with my walker supporting me. Since I had been texting, I was able to measure the total time I was down. It was only 24 minutes, but when you don't know when help is coming it can seem a lot longer. Also, sometimes people in this circumstance might be in more need. For example, it may be Winter, and the victim might be on a cement floor losing body heat to the ground. There can be other factors where this is more dangerous. Thankfully, it wasn't that bad for me, when all is considered about this fall.
My objective in this post was to try to convey the fears and the pain someone with limited physical capacity goes through when trying to do something as simple as standing up when you're on the floor.
Thankfully, I am losing weight. Officially, I'm 242 pounds now. This is important, because it's hard particularly for untrained care givers to help me up.
When we were living in Arkansas, we had a neighbor who was very big, (larger than me anyway) and Laura had called me over because he could not get up from the floor. He was beyond my strength to lift and at that time in my life, I had been doing 500 pound squats in the gym. I used to have 19.5 inch calves, and 18 inch arms.
Well that's all been going away in recent months, but I think it will be for the better as others will have to help me move more as time goes on. It's sad to see my legs shrivel up like this, but I'm not looking for a mate any more. That part of my life has gone.
But even as I was in my 'prime' in Arkansas, this fellow was very difficult to lift, and all I could think to do was to help him into a kitchen chair so his legs could rest and circulate again. I'm happy to say I was able to get him up into the chair, but it also took some substantial silent prayers.
So all in all, it was a good day, and I thank our Holy Lord for getting me through it.
Well I'm sure a lot of people of my generation have now learned this can be a very serious matter. All it takes is just a tiny stretch for something just a little outside of our reach and the next thing you know, and you've bent your knees just beyond 90 degrees with no chance to get them straight again. There you are, on the floor with one bad arm, two weak knees, and no hope to roll onto any side where you can even get your knees under you. Normally, if I'm reaching for an object that is on the floor, I know to take special precautions. e.g. I will often slide the object between my feet, stand over it with a walker and gently bend both knees to a 45, and pick up the stupid thing. However, there are times when you reach for something that's not exactly that simple, and so all of those cautionary techniques just don't come up to memory. In this case, I was wiping the front of the bathroom counter, and I reached too far. I knew I was in trouble before I was halfway down, but it was too late.
So I am screaming through the house for anyone to come to my aid. There is no answer. I don't hear any sound that would suggest there are humans in the house. Even my dogs which I had praised in the last post are on the other side of the closed bedroom door. Though there would have been nothing they could do, as I hadn't trained them, and they aren't service dogs.
I do have my phone, and can call and text. I know Laura is out providing transport for one of the kids. In fact, I was in the middle of a text with her as we were working some other details out.
"Is there anyone in the house? I can't get up." I send her. She gives me a rundown of where she believes everyone is. Apparently, Dustin IS in the house but is taking a shower and Theresa has walked Lenore half way to the HOA pool. I doubt what Laura is saying because I hear no water flow.
I resolve at this point that very soon I will talk to each of my neighbors and see if I can get them on a help me list and add to my phone contacts, but it don't help me now.
Laura says it's a little past 3 pm, and Matthew should be on his way home soon.
Meanwhile, I'm trying to figure out how to get my legs under the center of my body mass on my own. It's truly an engineering problem and I should be able to work this out - the trouble is that most of the machines I would use are compromised by pain or other weaknesses. Understand, it's not cancer that really causes me so much grief but it's what it is doing to my body each day that is the problem.
My walker is actually beyond my reach at this point too. Honestly, I was just going to the master bath sink trying to get my urine bottle, because one of the many gifts that this cancer has given me, is incontinence in certain occasions, so I keep a urine bottle because I doubt I can make it from my bed to the toilet in time. I expected to get support just by holding the counter top. BTW this also means my pants were below my knees when I fell, but at this point, I am beyond embarrassment, and will take help from any that can provide it.
I straighten my legs on the floor, and by rolling and alternating butt cheeks I'm able to pull my pants up little by little. This helps, because it's one less distraction to consider. Again I try to figure out which knee is strongest, and that I can bend enough to get under me.
Laura by this time had texted Matt to try to speed up his walk home from McDonalds about 1.5 miles away. Matt does arrive, and once we pick the critical knee, he pulls my right arm until I am kneeling on my right knee. A short pause to get circulation flowing through the back of the knees, and one final push up and I'm on my feet with my walker supporting me. Since I had been texting, I was able to measure the total time I was down. It was only 24 minutes, but when you don't know when help is coming it can seem a lot longer. Also, sometimes people in this circumstance might be in more need. For example, it may be Winter, and the victim might be on a cement floor losing body heat to the ground. There can be other factors where this is more dangerous. Thankfully, it wasn't that bad for me, when all is considered about this fall.
My objective in this post was to try to convey the fears and the pain someone with limited physical capacity goes through when trying to do something as simple as standing up when you're on the floor.
Thankfully, I am losing weight. Officially, I'm 242 pounds now. This is important, because it's hard particularly for untrained care givers to help me up.
When we were living in Arkansas, we had a neighbor who was very big, (larger than me anyway) and Laura had called me over because he could not get up from the floor. He was beyond my strength to lift and at that time in my life, I had been doing 500 pound squats in the gym. I used to have 19.5 inch calves, and 18 inch arms.
Well that's all been going away in recent months, but I think it will be for the better as others will have to help me move more as time goes on. It's sad to see my legs shrivel up like this, but I'm not looking for a mate any more. That part of my life has gone.
But even as I was in my 'prime' in Arkansas, this fellow was very difficult to lift, and all I could think to do was to help him into a kitchen chair so his legs could rest and circulate again. I'm happy to say I was able to get him up into the chair, but it also took some substantial silent prayers.
So all in all, it was a good day, and I thank our Holy Lord for getting me through it.
Dogs and Pain Levels
It's not something that Dr. Krivitsky would ever prescibe for me. I have some indication that he might not be much of a pet lover at all. But I feel I must assure the world that dogs have been a vitally important component of my pain control.
This morning, I woke at 07:30. Lately, I have been getting up much later though a month ago, I planned for a 06:30 wake up and an immediate set of pills which include 10 mg of methedone. However, I've been slipping in my morning routine because I can't call any doctor's office until 09:00.
Today I was clearly at PL 10 and in tears. Sure I took my methedone and my 'break through' 10 mg of Oxycodone, but I've also come to know these pain meds take 15-20 mins before I feel any relief.
But then there are dogs! These wonderful creatures that were put on God's green earth for no other purpose than to serve man.
I'm sorry if I may be heavily prejudiced against cats, but cats don't truly have the same kind of empathy that dogs have. If given lineup of people and one or two of them may be in pain, a dog will seek out the people in pain, while cats would just stop at the first person that knows how to pet a cat the way they want to be petted. A cat will seek for his own comfort, a dog wants to comfort others even at the expense of his own comfort. Have you ever watched a dog try to get a baby to stop crying? Have you seen the baby sometime hit, pinch or otherwise mishandle a dog? How does the dog react but to maybe lick the baby's face or somehow try to change the context of how the baby handles him?
The dog's first response is not to abandon the child, but to somehow comfort as best a dog can.
Here is an example of the late Sirius.
(Unfortunately, it might not render on your mobile device. I have wrestled with it for hours, no file format seems to work.)
He was Dustin and Lenore's dog that was killed in the fire last May 21st. Dustin is of course getting Lenore used to the dog, and mostly he's trying to teach her to say 'puppy', 'dog' or some other word to identify the dog.
As you may recall, Lenore has a hearing disability, which is half the reason Laura and I get to watch her. Because a regular day-care is very poor at making sure she's wearing her hearing aids at all times so she can develop proper speech.
Sirius takes a few pokes in the face from Lenore, but is not disturbed in the least. Dogs have come to know this is simply how human babies act, and will simply return the favor with a generous slobber to the face.
Now of course, food snacks will distract a dog entirely, and they at that moment will become very self centered until they have either earned the snack, stolen the snack, or the snack is no longer available.
But removing this distraction, dogs desire to comfort people. The next point is that the pain relief dogs provide is instant. You do not need to wait 20 minutes for relief.
My mother recently tried to get a new puppy, but it didn't work out well as the puppy had a little too much energy for her to handle. Part of the problem is that it has been many years since last she had a dog in the house, and might not know how to read a dog's behavior or what's needed to calm them down.
(Remember: a tired puppy is a good puppy and an exhausted puppy is an excellent puppy.)
What I also would suggest, is that as a dog owner, if you have a few grey hairs yourself, it may be easier to go to a shelter and look for a dog with some grey hairs as well. An older, adult, dog will be a bit more sedate. And while you don't get to train the dog from his first moments, if you're not a very skilled dog owner, you really won't be missing much. And you still get that wonderful dog that will nudge you to lift your spirits, or take some of that pain away.
A dog won't complain about your moaning and cries through pain. He'll only trying his best to make those sounds go away. Never will your dog complain, 'I've heard enough from you! Can't you get over it? It can't be that bad.' No, you can cry and cry and cry forever into your dog's fur and he won't mind in the least.
This morning, I woke at 07:30. Lately, I have been getting up much later though a month ago, I planned for a 06:30 wake up and an immediate set of pills which include 10 mg of methedone. However, I've been slipping in my morning routine because I can't call any doctor's office until 09:00.
Today I was clearly at PL 10 and in tears. Sure I took my methedone and my 'break through' 10 mg of Oxycodone, but I've also come to know these pain meds take 15-20 mins before I feel any relief.
But then there are dogs! These wonderful creatures that were put on God's green earth for no other purpose than to serve man.
The dog's first response is not to abandon the child, but to somehow comfort as best a dog can.
(Unfortunately, it might not render on your mobile device. I have wrestled with it for hours, no file format seems to work.)
He was Dustin and Lenore's dog that was killed in the fire last May 21st. Dustin is of course getting Lenore used to the dog, and mostly he's trying to teach her to say 'puppy', 'dog' or some other word to identify the dog.
As you may recall, Lenore has a hearing disability, which is half the reason Laura and I get to watch her. Because a regular day-care is very poor at making sure she's wearing her hearing aids at all times so she can develop proper speech.
Sirius takes a few pokes in the face from Lenore, but is not disturbed in the least. Dogs have come to know this is simply how human babies act, and will simply return the favor with a generous slobber to the face.
Now of course, food snacks will distract a dog entirely, and they at that moment will become very self centered until they have either earned the snack, stolen the snack, or the snack is no longer available.
But removing this distraction, dogs desire to comfort people. The next point is that the pain relief dogs provide is instant. You do not need to wait 20 minutes for relief.
My mother recently tried to get a new puppy, but it didn't work out well as the puppy had a little too much energy for her to handle. Part of the problem is that it has been many years since last she had a dog in the house, and might not know how to read a dog's behavior or what's needed to calm them down.
(Remember: a tired puppy is a good puppy and an exhausted puppy is an excellent puppy.)
What I also would suggest, is that as a dog owner, if you have a few grey hairs yourself, it may be easier to go to a shelter and look for a dog with some grey hairs as well. An older, adult, dog will be a bit more sedate. And while you don't get to train the dog from his first moments, if you're not a very skilled dog owner, you really won't be missing much. And you still get that wonderful dog that will nudge you to lift your spirits, or take some of that pain away.
A dog won't complain about your moaning and cries through pain. He'll only trying his best to make those sounds go away. Never will your dog complain, 'I've heard enough from you! Can't you get over it? It can't be that bad.' No, you can cry and cry and cry forever into your dog's fur and he won't mind in the least.
Tuesday, June 21, 2016
Visit with Doctor Today
This was just a check up with the palliative care tea
m. Not much to note other than my official weight has dropped to 242 pounds. Dr Krivitsky was concerned about it, and to me it's just a symtom of not feeling great about finances.
I also off-handedly find out that Katherine and Laura are cooking up yet another one of thier plsns without inviting my input. I am told it's because they think I might say 'no' to thier plan. Forgetting of course, 'no' is often the correct answer when all risks are considered, and it really isn't me they are really excluding, but some very obvious faults that they shouldn't overlook, but that they want to overlook until it's too late. My point being that with my help, we can avoid disaster before it occurs, and that big family descisions like this should have as much input from both parents.
Time and again daughters will do this sort of thing with mothers, and never have they learned how un-happy it makes thier dads, and how fruitless it is to attempt to exclude dad, because in the end we do find out, and we dads are frequently predudiced aganst the plan because we never got to participate in the early stages of planning.
Add to this, that in my present state of health there's little I can provide to the family than some well considered guidance. I can feel really hurt when mother and daughter first try to keep such secrets from me.
If it's truly a bad idea, it just makes it all the more difficult for me to overlook or find ways to help mitigate the risks of the plan, and maybe find the one critical change that can make it a good idea that all can be pleased with. In the end, mother and daughter are far more likely to get a 'no' when they approach problems this way, and far more likely to get a 'yes' if everyone gets the chance to think about it early enough.
m. Not much to note other than my official weight has dropped to 242 pounds. Dr Krivitsky was concerned about it, and to me it's just a symtom of not feeling great about finances.
I also off-handedly find out that Katherine and Laura are cooking up yet another one of thier plsns without inviting my input. I am told it's because they think I might say 'no' to thier plan. Forgetting of course, 'no' is often the correct answer when all risks are considered, and it really isn't me they are really excluding, but some very obvious faults that they shouldn't overlook, but that they want to overlook until it's too late. My point being that with my help, we can avoid disaster before it occurs, and that big family descisions like this should have as much input from both parents.
Time and again daughters will do this sort of thing with mothers, and never have they learned how un-happy it makes thier dads, and how fruitless it is to attempt to exclude dad, because in the end we do find out, and we dads are frequently predudiced aganst the plan because we never got to participate in the early stages of planning.
Add to this, that in my present state of health there's little I can provide to the family than some well considered guidance. I can feel really hurt when mother and daughter first try to keep such secrets from me.
If it's truly a bad idea, it just makes it all the more difficult for me to overlook or find ways to help mitigate the risks of the plan, and maybe find the one critical change that can make it a good idea that all can be pleased with. In the end, mother and daughter are far more likely to get a 'no' when they approach problems this way, and far more likely to get a 'yes' if everyone gets the chance to think about it early enough.
Sunday, June 19, 2016
Still No Heath Insurance
While yes I have elected to use COBRA, and the confirmation papers printed from the website state that I have 45 days from the date of the election to send my premium. The insurance won't pay any claim until after I pay the first premium. Howver, my checking account only exceeds my premium by twenty dollars and I really don't like drawing it that low withou assurance that LTD is actually going to kick in and pay me half a month's benefit.
The think that ticks me off is that I am 'covered' in that any costs i incurr will still get paid if i first pay out of pocket, and then turn in a receipt.
What kind of red tape nonsense is that? I explained my intention to pay the premium Friday, and there's nothing in the confirmation receipt or the elections page which says I must make immediate payment of the premium. It says I have 45 days.
Well now that Laura tells me there's a new donation in gofundme from a high school class mate, I guess I will make that premium payment tonight. Dr Aggarwal wants an MRI of my shoulder to try to make sense of the trouble there.
I've deferred it since I had no coverage until now. So time to schedule that this week.
It sure would make a huge difference to have a servicable shoulder agaian. One extra arm to catch me when I fall, or simply one extra arm to pet the dogs.
Also, last night Dustin decided to move in with us for a couple of weeks, so it would also be another arm to hold Lenore with.
The think that ticks me off is that I am 'covered' in that any costs i incurr will still get paid if i first pay out of pocket, and then turn in a receipt.
What kind of red tape nonsense is that? I explained my intention to pay the premium Friday, and there's nothing in the confirmation receipt or the elections page which says I must make immediate payment of the premium. It says I have 45 days.
Well now that Laura tells me there's a new donation in gofundme from a high school class mate, I guess I will make that premium payment tonight. Dr Aggarwal wants an MRI of my shoulder to try to make sense of the trouble there.
I've deferred it since I had no coverage until now. So time to schedule that this week.
It sure would make a huge difference to have a servicable shoulder agaian. One extra arm to catch me when I fall, or simply one extra arm to pet the dogs.
Also, last night Dustin decided to move in with us for a couple of weeks, so it would also be another arm to hold Lenore with.
Monday, June 13, 2016
COBRA is the Clear Winner
Just this past Saturday, we finally got the COBRA continuation letter. I made phone calls today to confirm that if we pay our COBRA premiums, we would be continuing the United Healthcare policy that we had up until 5/31.
This means the $4000 family out of pocket that we've already paid will continue to the end of the year. We've maxed out our out-of-pockets, and will have to pay nothing but our premiums for the rest of the year.
So all of Laura's diabetic meds and all my specialized meds like the Zytiga ($10,000 / month), will have no out of pocket costs until January. I also got confirmation that a) since I'm on SSD if we choose, we can continue COBRA for 29 months from May 31. We also are not locked in, and since the yearly out of pockets will reset in 207, we may shop fir a better policy in December and switch to that if it's truly better.
This means I can get that MRI of the left shoulder without additional cost.
So the adventure continues!
This means the $4000 family out of pocket that we've already paid will continue to the end of the year. We've maxed out our out-of-pockets, and will have to pay nothing but our premiums for the rest of the year.
So all of Laura's diabetic meds and all my specialized meds like the Zytiga ($10,000 / month), will have no out of pocket costs until January. I also got confirmation that a) since I'm on SSD if we choose, we can continue COBRA for 29 months from May 31. We also are not locked in, and since the yearly out of pockets will reset in 207, we may shop fir a better policy in December and switch to that if it's truly better.
This means I can get that MRI of the left shoulder without additional cost.
So the adventure continues!
Friday, June 10, 2016
Not Out of the Woods Yet
This is what my recruit company commander MS1 Recefrente was fond of saying when we were getting close to our graduation. I doubt I'll forget his face or his thick Philipino accent.
I just completed a call with the adjuster for Prudential's Long Term Disability policy. And while i should be getting the full 60% of my pay, the problem is they will deduct dollar for dollar any other income I may get. This includes Social Security Disability.
I've been working on this new budget pretty hard, and it looked like we were very close to making it. Well, today's news is that essentially I will have no SSD because every dollar gets deducted from LTD. That leaves me with a gap of about 25K per year.
I'm in a bit of dispair, because just when it seemed it would all come together, I find the numbers will still not add up.
As MS1 says, "You're not out of the woods yet".
I just don't know how to put it together now.
I also have no money to pay our health insurance premium.
Oh and on top of that, I'm having a bad pain day.
I'm at level 7, and i don't have enough strength to roll out of bed without assistance.
Please St. Joseph, I need help from here!
I just completed a call with the adjuster for Prudential's Long Term Disability policy. And while i should be getting the full 60% of my pay, the problem is they will deduct dollar for dollar any other income I may get. This includes Social Security Disability.
I've been working on this new budget pretty hard, and it looked like we were very close to making it. Well, today's news is that essentially I will have no SSD because every dollar gets deducted from LTD. That leaves me with a gap of about 25K per year.
I'm in a bit of dispair, because just when it seemed it would all come together, I find the numbers will still not add up.
As MS1 says, "You're not out of the woods yet".
I just don't know how to put it together now.
I also have no money to pay our health insurance premium.
Oh and on top of that, I'm having a bad pain day.
I'm at level 7, and i don't have enough strength to roll out of bed without assistance.
Please St. Joseph, I need help from here!
Thursday, June 9, 2016
Budget Squeeze
It is looking up for once everything gets stable, but there are some timing gaps to fill.
Tomorrow, Prudential will be calling me just to collect a few more statements on my case to determining if I qualify for the Long Term Disability, which I believe I should.
If awarded the maximum, I should be getting a direct deposit on the 24th of each month. So of course I have to manage that my pay comes in monthly, but I have done this before. The trouble is that I have run out of a lot of money and there is no buffer or "floor" left in my checking account which means this first first check will hit me when I'm dry.
The first check should cover from June 11th to June 24th (The 24th is Laura's Birthday co-incidentally.) but as I'm running so dry, I will be receiving checks in arrears to my expenses until I can get a floor saved up. Not a very good place to be when trying to explain this to creditors.
Social Security has already approved my disability, but those deposits won't show up until September.
Now all told, this means I will be living at about 87% of my regular pay while I was working. So I consider myself very fortunate because I have not prepared for retirement, and this is a comparatively high level when you consider people living off of Social Security alone.
It's nothing to sneeze at, but numbers are numbers and they must balance.
The LTD checks barely keep us afloat, for all our fixed expenses like mortgage, utilities, and such. It doesn't cover food, nor will it cover the health insurance premiums. Once Social Security is in place, I think we can swing it all, but we've got a couple of months of robbing Peter to pay Paul before we can begin to catch up.
I have contacted USAA directly too look at thier health care coverage, and there is a plan that looks like it fits. It's a bit unusual to choose, because the co-pay is 100% until the deductibles are met. However, since we know we should hit those deductibles each and every year, the total cost of premiums and out of pocket deductibles will be about 20K per year.
It will still be a tight squeeze for sure, and it requires that there is cash up front but it seems to be the only thing that gets us going.
I still have a good back log of medical bills from 2015 and 2016 before I hit my maximums.
I hate to beg, but I guess I need to do it. If you can offer any help, please see our gofundme page set up by Pat Crawford.
Tomorrow, Prudential will be calling me just to collect a few more statements on my case to determining if I qualify for the Long Term Disability, which I believe I should.
If awarded the maximum, I should be getting a direct deposit on the 24th of each month. So of course I have to manage that my pay comes in monthly, but I have done this before. The trouble is that I have run out of a lot of money and there is no buffer or "floor" left in my checking account which means this first first check will hit me when I'm dry.
The first check should cover from June 11th to June 24th (The 24th is Laura's Birthday co-incidentally.) but as I'm running so dry, I will be receiving checks in arrears to my expenses until I can get a floor saved up. Not a very good place to be when trying to explain this to creditors.
Social Security has already approved my disability, but those deposits won't show up until September.
Now all told, this means I will be living at about 87% of my regular pay while I was working. So I consider myself very fortunate because I have not prepared for retirement, and this is a comparatively high level when you consider people living off of Social Security alone.
It's nothing to sneeze at, but numbers are numbers and they must balance.
The LTD checks barely keep us afloat, for all our fixed expenses like mortgage, utilities, and such. It doesn't cover food, nor will it cover the health insurance premiums. Once Social Security is in place, I think we can swing it all, but we've got a couple of months of robbing Peter to pay Paul before we can begin to catch up.
I have contacted USAA directly too look at thier health care coverage, and there is a plan that looks like it fits. It's a bit unusual to choose, because the co-pay is 100% until the deductibles are met. However, since we know we should hit those deductibles each and every year, the total cost of premiums and out of pocket deductibles will be about 20K per year.
It will still be a tight squeeze for sure, and it requires that there is cash up front but it seems to be the only thing that gets us going.
I still have a good back log of medical bills from 2015 and 2016 before I hit my maximums.
I hate to beg, but I guess I need to do it. If you can offer any help, please see our gofundme page set up by Pat Crawford.
Forever Living Homes
These were installed from Forever Living Homes.
We got matching oak rails for the main stair, and the stain was well matched. Though I have to agree with the girls that this much dark oak railing is a overkill for this area, and it's not what any designer would reccomend.
None the less, I really find I do depend on them to get me up and down the stairs especially when I have a high pain level day like I did Tuesday.
It's particularly helpful on the lower flight of stairs, for my right arm when I walk up. I can't use my left for support up or down the stairs which is why I need rails on both sides so that both going up and going down are covered.
All told, this cost $1,130 which was paid from your donations to the gofundme link. They are very much appreciated !
Believe me when I tell you they have already saved me from at least three potentially bad falls.
Pain Level 10+
It doesn't happen often, but when it does come up, it really knocks me out.
Last Monday night I started to have extra pain that work me out of bed so I took my extra Oxycodone "break through" medication. I'm currently allowed 10 mg every four hours as needed. Normally I have 10 mg of Methadone three times a day, so all told this can be a lot of pain medication.
Tuesday morning, my right leg was experiencing the most pain, with the left shoulder and whole arm taking up the rest. I was hitting pain level 10 as I was in tears at times. I had a 14:15 appointment to get blood drawn in preparation for Dr. Burgess's follow up visit Wednesday. While at that blood work appointment we decided to give the palliative care doctor, Dr Krivitsky, a call since his office was in the same plaza at CMC Pineville. His office agreed to squeeze me in.
Dr. Krivitsky did not allow more pain medication, but instead prescribed 5 mg of Cyclobenzaprine twice a day for 15 days. This is a muscle relaxant which should have countered the pain in the leg as the doctor found most of the muscles in my leg to be in perpetual cramp. At about 03:00 Thursday I finally felt the tide turn.
It was a very bad day, and Laura had to suffer through a lot of my moaning, pain noises, and had to move my legs for me at times. I also have to admit I wasn't very pleasant company. Come Wednesday morning though my legs were feeling fine and my arm was back to it's nominal pain level 2-3.
Today, I'm still running a good 4-5 for a pain level, my right knee is very weak, and I'm at max meds, but I hope for better tomorrow. I felt I needed to get a post out or two, because as you'll see, I still need some help.
This is the sort of day however that reminds me why I'm on disability. I can go through several days thinking, "Well this isn't so bad, maybe I could have worked today." But still as drowsy as I am much of the time, I am still designated as a non-operator on my car insurance, and I can't drive. So it would cost a bit to get me to work in the first place. (about $30 round trip via Uber) Ten once at work, I doubt I'd have the mental capacity or concentration to discover any bugs I was being tasked to fix, and I would probably be working on the wrong branch of code. Chances are, I would introduce more bugs than solve at this point.
I just have to continually face the fact I really can't be working.
Speaking of which, as of 5/31/2016 I am no longer an employee of Heartland Payment Systems, and I no longer have health insurance. The COBRA paperwork has not yet come through for me to choose it, and I have spent a few hours working the heathcare.gov website. And it looks to be prohibitively expensive. Hopefully I will find something that fits before too long. Perhaps that's another post subject.
Last Monday night I started to have extra pain that work me out of bed so I took my extra Oxycodone "break through" medication. I'm currently allowed 10 mg every four hours as needed. Normally I have 10 mg of Methadone three times a day, so all told this can be a lot of pain medication.
Tuesday morning, my right leg was experiencing the most pain, with the left shoulder and whole arm taking up the rest. I was hitting pain level 10 as I was in tears at times. I had a 14:15 appointment to get blood drawn in preparation for Dr. Burgess's follow up visit Wednesday. While at that blood work appointment we decided to give the palliative care doctor, Dr Krivitsky, a call since his office was in the same plaza at CMC Pineville. His office agreed to squeeze me in.
Dr. Krivitsky did not allow more pain medication, but instead prescribed 5 mg of Cyclobenzaprine twice a day for 15 days. This is a muscle relaxant which should have countered the pain in the leg as the doctor found most of the muscles in my leg to be in perpetual cramp. At about 03:00 Thursday I finally felt the tide turn.
It was a very bad day, and Laura had to suffer through a lot of my moaning, pain noises, and had to move my legs for me at times. I also have to admit I wasn't very pleasant company. Come Wednesday morning though my legs were feeling fine and my arm was back to it's nominal pain level 2-3.
Today, I'm still running a good 4-5 for a pain level, my right knee is very weak, and I'm at max meds, but I hope for better tomorrow. I felt I needed to get a post out or two, because as you'll see, I still need some help.
This is the sort of day however that reminds me why I'm on disability. I can go through several days thinking, "Well this isn't so bad, maybe I could have worked today." But still as drowsy as I am much of the time, I am still designated as a non-operator on my car insurance, and I can't drive. So it would cost a bit to get me to work in the first place. (about $30 round trip via Uber) Ten once at work, I doubt I'd have the mental capacity or concentration to discover any bugs I was being tasked to fix, and I would probably be working on the wrong branch of code. Chances are, I would introduce more bugs than solve at this point.
I just have to continually face the fact I really can't be working.
Speaking of which, as of 5/31/2016 I am no longer an employee of Heartland Payment Systems, and I no longer have health insurance. The COBRA paperwork has not yet come through for me to choose it, and I have spent a few hours working the heathcare.gov website. And it looks to be prohibitively expensive. Hopefully I will find something that fits before too long. Perhaps that's another post subject.
Saturday, June 4, 2016
Teachers vs Educators - Bernard A. DiNatale et ux
This may seem redundant that I would pit two words against each other like this, but I should say that we have many teachers in the United States, but few of them are truly educators. This is much like what Saint Paul had said
I was having a talk with my high school friend Andy Wallace, that began as a face time session, but I was talking too fast and starting to hyper ventilate, and we switched to IM chatting. We were talking about one of our outstanding educators Bernard A. DiNatale Jr. and Andy had found his obituary from 2013.
It's a nice obituary to be sure, but I feel that between Andy and I, there's more to be said about the man.
With a tiny bit of googling I found that his wife Carolyn a.k.a. "Candy" is still living in Dunstable, MA. As I had told Andy, he was not aware that "Candy" (who I can't get out of the habit of calling Mrs. DiNatale) was also my 3rd grade teacher at South Row Elementary in Chelmsford. Though I was living on the West side of Chelmsford, I was placed in Mrs. DiNatale's towards the end of my third grade through a state special needs program called 766. Actually, on that year, Mrs. DiNatale's class was being taught at Byam Elementary which was for the West side of Chelmsford, but for the following year, I repeated third grade and the class was moved to South Row, though it was on the other side of town.
As would be my legacy, I would often find myself in the care of teachers who were barely qualified for the job, and I could often embarrass them by pointing out their errors to the class. Well, that didn't win me many friends among the faculty, so the best thing was to get me tested, and make it seem like it was my problem and that I needed a special educator that was beyond the training of the teacher that I had been assigned. This was my first experience that taught me that people can tell small 'white' lies about others to manipulate the situation. Sure, my parents were divorcing that year, but does this mean I was so emotionally distraught that I needed special handling? Apparently it was enough to get me off of this one particular teacher's back even though I wasn't really that upset that my father was living somewhere else. To be honest, I was a little too self absorbed to really care much about such things. I still saw him on occasion, so it wasn't like he died or anything. But people were able to make the argument that I wasn't behaving right and this must be the cause.
These are the sort of teachers whom I would never remember, but Mrs. DiNatale was an educator of great talent.
She was tremendous help to my early formation. She provided the space I needed to grow, and a lot of good self paced lessons. I don't think I needed much more encouragement to have confidence that I was a smart kid. On the contrary, Mrs. DiNatale was able to talk me down gently and learn to better interact with my educators and peers, and not embarrass them quite so much. I recall we had a student named Jamie who suffered from a severe epilepsy and wore a hockey helmet all day long. In a typical classroom environment kids can be cruel, and Jamie certainly was getting the brunt of that cruelty. In Mrs. DiNatale's class, we all learned to be more accepting of people that were just a little strange. She created the right kind of environment for us all, so that we were able to grow through those years. Jamie found a safe place of acceptance, and we all learned that people come in many sizes, colors and abilities. Long before diversity education became all the rage, I was already well ahead of that trend due to Mrs. DiNatale's guidance.
Mrs. DiNatale got me to learn more about respecting other people's feelings than any could at that time of my life. This also included respecting the feelings of teachers.
I was able to phone Mrs. DiNatale yesterday, and though Mr. DiNatale had passed in 2013, she was able to describe the hole he still left in her life.
Later in high school, as Mr. DiNatale's student, one of the things that I saw was he taught his electronics class with the intent of making sure each student right then and there had learned enough about the trade that regardless of any further education they might receive, they were already prepared to meet the working world as an electronics technician. Here again, beyond the typical curriculum of electronics, Mr. DiNatale was able to provide space for individual students to explore beyond the course material.
There was a digital electronics board with discrete and-gates and or-gates and inverters from which I was able to make a three digit decimal counter and drive a seven segment display of this count.
I'm a little more comfortable calling Mr. DiNatale by his first name, because ironically he suffered from a touch of dyslexia, and had trouble being able to distinguish a small letter b from a small letter d. and since of course, those were his initials we had some fun with that.
I had created a custom logo for him that was a parody of the Atari logo, and I added to two outside symbols or regions of color a couple of semi-circular lobes to turn these into the small letters 'b' and 'd', and the center was turned into a stylized 'a'. the black "Atari" was turned into "Dinatari" which of course you'd pronounce with a thick Japanese accent. Of course it was hard for Mr. DiNatale to see all that because of the symmetry involved, but he seemed to enjoy it.
There was also the day the Mr. DiNatale had discovered that I had brought a camping knife to school. And he did a perfect job of seeing to it that I never brought it back, and without reporting it to anyone. I can't tell you much about the circumstances of why I had brought it to school, but Mr. D had done the right thing to get me to reverse my conduct.
I owe quite a bit to each of the DiNatale's for keeping me out of trouble and setting me on the best course I could get in my life.
One of the things Mrs. DiNatale and I were talking about last night is the trouble that current teachers have to face where there are the forces of political correctness that would make it difficult for any such motivated educator to actually educate today's children in equally effective ways.
That should be a whole other post - but for now I will simply express my gratitude that the DiNatale's were the educators that they were and that the benefits of their efforts also reach down to another generation as I pass these lessons onto my children.
I Cor 4:15 For if you have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet not many fathers. For in Christ Jesus, by the gospel, I have begotten you.This of course is the classic refute to the Protestant who holds up St. Matthew 23:9-10 as evidence that the Catholic Church is wrong to call priests by the title "father". St. Paul is clearly calling himself "father" and distinguishing himself from the ten thousand instructors in Christ.
I was having a talk with my high school friend Andy Wallace, that began as a face time session, but I was talking too fast and starting to hyper ventilate, and we switched to IM chatting. We were talking about one of our outstanding educators Bernard A. DiNatale Jr. and Andy had found his obituary from 2013.
It's a nice obituary to be sure, but I feel that between Andy and I, there's more to be said about the man.
With a tiny bit of googling I found that his wife Carolyn a.k.a. "Candy" is still living in Dunstable, MA. As I had told Andy, he was not aware that "Candy" (who I can't get out of the habit of calling Mrs. DiNatale) was also my 3rd grade teacher at South Row Elementary in Chelmsford. Though I was living on the West side of Chelmsford, I was placed in Mrs. DiNatale's towards the end of my third grade through a state special needs program called 766. Actually, on that year, Mrs. DiNatale's class was being taught at Byam Elementary which was for the West side of Chelmsford, but for the following year, I repeated third grade and the class was moved to South Row, though it was on the other side of town.
As would be my legacy, I would often find myself in the care of teachers who were barely qualified for the job, and I could often embarrass them by pointing out their errors to the class. Well, that didn't win me many friends among the faculty, so the best thing was to get me tested, and make it seem like it was my problem and that I needed a special educator that was beyond the training of the teacher that I had been assigned. This was my first experience that taught me that people can tell small 'white' lies about others to manipulate the situation. Sure, my parents were divorcing that year, but does this mean I was so emotionally distraught that I needed special handling? Apparently it was enough to get me off of this one particular teacher's back even though I wasn't really that upset that my father was living somewhere else. To be honest, I was a little too self absorbed to really care much about such things. I still saw him on occasion, so it wasn't like he died or anything. But people were able to make the argument that I wasn't behaving right and this must be the cause.
These are the sort of teachers whom I would never remember, but Mrs. DiNatale was an educator of great talent.
She was tremendous help to my early formation. She provided the space I needed to grow, and a lot of good self paced lessons. I don't think I needed much more encouragement to have confidence that I was a smart kid. On the contrary, Mrs. DiNatale was able to talk me down gently and learn to better interact with my educators and peers, and not embarrass them quite so much. I recall we had a student named Jamie who suffered from a severe epilepsy and wore a hockey helmet all day long. In a typical classroom environment kids can be cruel, and Jamie certainly was getting the brunt of that cruelty. In Mrs. DiNatale's class, we all learned to be more accepting of people that were just a little strange. She created the right kind of environment for us all, so that we were able to grow through those years. Jamie found a safe place of acceptance, and we all learned that people come in many sizes, colors and abilities. Long before diversity education became all the rage, I was already well ahead of that trend due to Mrs. DiNatale's guidance.
Mrs. DiNatale got me to learn more about respecting other people's feelings than any could at that time of my life. This also included respecting the feelings of teachers.
I was able to phone Mrs. DiNatale yesterday, and though Mr. DiNatale had passed in 2013, she was able to describe the hole he still left in her life.
Later in high school, as Mr. DiNatale's student, one of the things that I saw was he taught his electronics class with the intent of making sure each student right then and there had learned enough about the trade that regardless of any further education they might receive, they were already prepared to meet the working world as an electronics technician. Here again, beyond the typical curriculum of electronics, Mr. DiNatale was able to provide space for individual students to explore beyond the course material.
There was a digital electronics board with discrete and-gates and or-gates and inverters from which I was able to make a three digit decimal counter and drive a seven segment display of this count.
I'm a little more comfortable calling Mr. DiNatale by his first name, because ironically he suffered from a touch of dyslexia, and had trouble being able to distinguish a small letter b from a small letter d. and since of course, those were his initials we had some fun with that.
I had created a custom logo for him that was a parody of the Atari logo, and I added to two outside symbols or regions of color a couple of semi-circular lobes to turn these into the small letters 'b' and 'd', and the center was turned into a stylized 'a'. the black "Atari" was turned into "Dinatari" which of course you'd pronounce with a thick Japanese accent. Of course it was hard for Mr. DiNatale to see all that because of the symmetry involved, but he seemed to enjoy it.
There was also the day the Mr. DiNatale had discovered that I had brought a camping knife to school. And he did a perfect job of seeing to it that I never brought it back, and without reporting it to anyone. I can't tell you much about the circumstances of why I had brought it to school, but Mr. D had done the right thing to get me to reverse my conduct.
I owe quite a bit to each of the DiNatale's for keeping me out of trouble and setting me on the best course I could get in my life.
One of the things Mrs. DiNatale and I were talking about last night is the trouble that current teachers have to face where there are the forces of political correctness that would make it difficult for any such motivated educator to actually educate today's children in equally effective ways.
That should be a whole other post - but for now I will simply express my gratitude that the DiNatale's were the educators that they were and that the benefits of their efforts also reach down to another generation as I pass these lessons onto my children.
Pain vs Sleep
Thursday I spent most of it in bed sleeping, and then later, about 17:00 that evening I was at pain level 10 and in tears, so I took my 10 mg of Oxycodone and decided to wait 40 minutes before calling my palliative care docotor's office. Of course I was going to get an after hours response. but I wanted to be sure I had given the Oxy some time to work. Well it did take the pain down to about 6 or so, but I was ready for more relief and I called. Often these after hours contacts don't really achieve much because I will first get an operator who will then take down my complaint - then they phone a nurse practitioner who is supposed to call me back in 30 minutes. Then they get me to repeat the information I gave the operator, and they will pass that onto a doctor who will call me back in 30 minutes. And what do you suppose the doctor then does but ask me to repeat myself yet a third time.
Well after that process, I got a doctor who essentially told me to take a Tylenol.
But what this does do it get me flagged on a couple of phone lists so that both Dr. Krivitsky's and Dr. Burgess's office will call me in the morning. And while I am also working some of my outgoing calls, this sets up for a train wreck of phone tag between the various offices. It was a little after noon before I got everyone settled in.
I have been singing praises of Carolinas Medical Center for a few months now, and lets understand that is for the professionalism and skill of everyone on staff. But I do have to say there are two things that CMC consistently fails to deliver. The first is the recent change of the food vendor for the patients in the hospital. It's not really bad, but I do find myself rejecting 30-40% of the meals I'm offered. The previous vendor they had last September was excellent.
The second thing they are terrible with is their blinking phone system. Just yesterday, I was in to get an EKG and I had incorrectly noted the clinic where I was supposed to have it done. So I tried to call Dr. Krivitsky's office to get the instructions repeated. It was 2 PM Thursday - most of us would consider this normal working hours. I was greeted by a phone message asking me to leave a message and they would call me back.
Seriously? You can't answer the phone directly during normal working hours ? How inefficient is that ? Oh and they never returned the call!
I talked with Dr. Bobo, the Radiologist about it, and he says that the staff have frequently complained to CMC management that they have very difficult times being able to communicate with their patients because of this phone system that has been contracted. It's a problem with all CMC clinics.
Dr. Bobo also went on to say that most of the staff have their own personal cell phones to be able to get around the system and communicate with each other directly. e.g. Dr. Bobo can not get in touch with Dr. Burgess using CMC's phone system, they have to call each other on personal phones.
As a computer programmer who has built many types of automated systems, it just frosts my cookies to see such a terrible system in use, and to know someone is actually making money selling such a horrible system to a hospital. But further, I blame CMC for not waking up to the fact they have a problem and they need to dump their current vendor and get something that works.
I had intended to write and post this yesterday. I have quite a few things to report about yesterday!
Well I shall make that as a separate post today.
Well after that process, I got a doctor who essentially told me to take a Tylenol.
But what this does do it get me flagged on a couple of phone lists so that both Dr. Krivitsky's and Dr. Burgess's office will call me in the morning. And while I am also working some of my outgoing calls, this sets up for a train wreck of phone tag between the various offices. It was a little after noon before I got everyone settled in.
I have been singing praises of Carolinas Medical Center for a few months now, and lets understand that is for the professionalism and skill of everyone on staff. But I do have to say there are two things that CMC consistently fails to deliver. The first is the recent change of the food vendor for the patients in the hospital. It's not really bad, but I do find myself rejecting 30-40% of the meals I'm offered. The previous vendor they had last September was excellent.
The second thing they are terrible with is their blinking phone system. Just yesterday, I was in to get an EKG and I had incorrectly noted the clinic where I was supposed to have it done. So I tried to call Dr. Krivitsky's office to get the instructions repeated. It was 2 PM Thursday - most of us would consider this normal working hours. I was greeted by a phone message asking me to leave a message and they would call me back.
Seriously? You can't answer the phone directly during normal working hours ? How inefficient is that ? Oh and they never returned the call!
I talked with Dr. Bobo, the Radiologist about it, and he says that the staff have frequently complained to CMC management that they have very difficult times being able to communicate with their patients because of this phone system that has been contracted. It's a problem with all CMC clinics.
Dr. Bobo also went on to say that most of the staff have their own personal cell phones to be able to get around the system and communicate with each other directly. e.g. Dr. Bobo can not get in touch with Dr. Burgess using CMC's phone system, they have to call each other on personal phones.
As a computer programmer who has built many types of automated systems, it just frosts my cookies to see such a terrible system in use, and to know someone is actually making money selling such a horrible system to a hospital. But further, I blame CMC for not waking up to the fact they have a problem and they need to dump their current vendor and get something that works.
I had intended to write and post this yesterday. I have quite a few things to report about yesterday!
Well I shall make that as a separate post today.
Thursday, May 26, 2016
Closing the Gap II
So I approached this by actually looking at my checkbook for the past quarter and coming up with a budget on a spreadsheet. It's not quite as bad as I thought.
There's still a gap, but if Laura were to find work in the 20K per year range, we'd be able to beat it quite handily. Additionally, we have 3 of the kids now doing their after school jobs, and I have started them on paying their own phone bills.
Looking at competitive Saturn Ions on craigslist, we could probably get $3500 for mine right now, but that would leave us with $3700 yet to pay off. It still may not be worth it, and I might regain the abilty to drive in a couple of months or Kate may need the car when Kim retrieves her chevy.
Also, I expect that for as long as we get the long term disability, we'll be able to put some money away/into investment real estate. There is about $400/month for consumer debt that if we got paid off, would make things much easier. The best strategy of course is pay minimums on everything, except of the one debt that is at the highest interest rate, and then nail that one first. I haven't yet sorted them that way, but I will soon. That top debt might just be the Ion for all I know.
It's still going to be touch and go, as we have not yet nailed down what health insurance is going to cost.
Also, I have reached out to Shirley at PSS in Massachusetts about the $800 / month gig. She will have to talk it over with Jeff, but I expect it will work out.
There's still a gap, but if Laura were to find work in the 20K per year range, we'd be able to beat it quite handily. Additionally, we have 3 of the kids now doing their after school jobs, and I have started them on paying their own phone bills.
Looking at competitive Saturn Ions on craigslist, we could probably get $3500 for mine right now, but that would leave us with $3700 yet to pay off. It still may not be worth it, and I might regain the abilty to drive in a couple of months or Kate may need the car when Kim retrieves her chevy.
Also, I expect that for as long as we get the long term disability, we'll be able to put some money away/into investment real estate. There is about $400/month for consumer debt that if we got paid off, would make things much easier. The best strategy of course is pay minimums on everything, except of the one debt that is at the highest interest rate, and then nail that one first. I haven't yet sorted them that way, but I will soon. That top debt might just be the Ion for all I know.
It's still going to be touch and go, as we have not yet nailed down what health insurance is going to cost.
Also, I have reached out to Shirley at PSS in Massachusetts about the $800 / month gig. She will have to talk it over with Jeff, but I expect it will work out.
Closing Gaps
Yesterday was a bit of an adventure with the finances.
On one hand I found how much my Social Security Disability is expected to be in September. As most people would have expected, it just won't be enough. In fact it's about 1/3 of what I need to sustain my budget. This of course has me slightly panicked, but at the same time just urges me to action. At least for the next few months, I think most of that gap will be taken up by the Long Term Disability (LTD). However, LTD won't last forever, and that is also something I don't know: How long should I expect it to last, and exactly how much will it be?
As you know by now, I do have an optimistic nature, and I do think it will get us by while I look at the real estate investment that needs to be accomplished. The real estate will be the true source of permanent income.
I also learned that the life insurance is only for $50,000 and not for $100,000 as I thought.
It's clear that because my pay stub shows no extra deductions for the life insurance premium, that I had only opted for the standard 50K that was offered to all employees.
Still the 50K will be enough to get the real estate started, and the capitalization rates of 15% in the Carolinas is more than the rough 10% I was planning. I should be able to get the 50K to stretch far enough to get really close to covering the gap.
But this too will be a challenge, because I would not only need to cover the gap, but exceed it enough that the LLC will have funds to grow.
But I have alternate plans that should fix that as well.
Also, I have found that SSD will allow me to work a little, provided I don't make more than $810 in a month. I think contacting one of my old employers in Massachusetts can fit that bill. I have worked remotely for them in the past, and they often have little extra jobs I can do that would be a the right size for this sort of thing.
That $810 will only make up less than a 1/4 of the gap, and at the rates I would intend to bill, we're talking about 5-6 hours of work a week. This would make it more of a C++ hobby than a real job and would just keep my head in the C++ world.
Probably the worst of it is that I will see my programs that I wrote some five or six years ago, and some "violence done" to it by the other programmers in that time. I've done this once before with them and it was astonishing how bad some of my really beautiful stuff had been damaged beyond recognition.
I only hope I don't get a ulcer from looking at this stuff now.
Oh and in all that, my mortgagee, PennyMac called yesterday and was able to streamline my VA loan from 4.00% to 3.25%. Sure they tacked on about $6000 to the principle, but cashflow is paramount at this point, and we lowered my monthly bill by $135.
Last night I also went out with the Men's Group at church for Benediction, Mass, and a beer after church. I met up with a new guy named Mark who also has some financial planning resources, and in addition, Chris tells me that he's sold some seven cars using Craigslist, so there is some renewed hope that I can dispose of the Ion this way.
Reducing expences will be another way to close the gap, so I'm all for it.
tschüß!
or as Lesl4ie and I used to write before UTF-8 : tschu"s!
On one hand I found how much my Social Security Disability is expected to be in September. As most people would have expected, it just won't be enough. In fact it's about 1/3 of what I need to sustain my budget. This of course has me slightly panicked, but at the same time just urges me to action. At least for the next few months, I think most of that gap will be taken up by the Long Term Disability (LTD). However, LTD won't last forever, and that is also something I don't know: How long should I expect it to last, and exactly how much will it be?
As you know by now, I do have an optimistic nature, and I do think it will get us by while I look at the real estate investment that needs to be accomplished. The real estate will be the true source of permanent income.
I also learned that the life insurance is only for $50,000 and not for $100,000 as I thought.
It's clear that because my pay stub shows no extra deductions for the life insurance premium, that I had only opted for the standard 50K that was offered to all employees.
Still the 50K will be enough to get the real estate started, and the capitalization rates of 15% in the Carolinas is more than the rough 10% I was planning. I should be able to get the 50K to stretch far enough to get really close to covering the gap.
But this too will be a challenge, because I would not only need to cover the gap, but exceed it enough that the LLC will have funds to grow.
But I have alternate plans that should fix that as well.
Also, I have found that SSD will allow me to work a little, provided I don't make more than $810 in a month. I think contacting one of my old employers in Massachusetts can fit that bill. I have worked remotely for them in the past, and they often have little extra jobs I can do that would be a the right size for this sort of thing.
That $810 will only make up less than a 1/4 of the gap, and at the rates I would intend to bill, we're talking about 5-6 hours of work a week. This would make it more of a C++ hobby than a real job and would just keep my head in the C++ world.
Probably the worst of it is that I will see my programs that I wrote some five or six years ago, and some "violence done" to it by the other programmers in that time. I've done this once before with them and it was astonishing how bad some of my really beautiful stuff had been damaged beyond recognition.
I only hope I don't get a ulcer from looking at this stuff now.
Oh and in all that, my mortgagee, PennyMac called yesterday and was able to streamline my VA loan from 4.00% to 3.25%. Sure they tacked on about $6000 to the principle, but cashflow is paramount at this point, and we lowered my monthly bill by $135.
Last night I also went out with the Men's Group at church for Benediction, Mass, and a beer after church. I met up with a new guy named Mark who also has some financial planning resources, and in addition, Chris tells me that he's sold some seven cars using Craigslist, so there is some renewed hope that I can dispose of the Ion this way.
Reducing expences will be another way to close the gap, so I'm all for it.
tschüß!
or as Lesl4ie and I used to write before UTF-8 : tschu"s!
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
Palliative Care
Today was like most any other, beginning with a Physical Therapy appointment in the morning. The regular nurse wasn't available so I had a substitute named Sherry who was advised by Christy to work me pretty hard.
I will say that my balance and strength are definitely improving. Sherry worked all the same exercises that Christy would have, and a few others. I have confidence that I could be out fielding some graveyards and working on my Ingress stats again.
I also had a palliative care appointment with doctor Boris Krivitsky. All we really did was refill my methadone and oxycodone prescriptions. It seems that most of my instincts have been correct up to this point. For example, Dr. Krivitsky actually encourages his patients to write, and he was happy to hear that I had already started a blog. I just need to work on it a bit more :P
Also we had discussed that the children may need to have a little counseling. For me, I feel that my perspective is a little unique and I might not need as much counseling as many cancer patients do. Though I sometimes wonder if I shouldn't consider one of the group sessions so thbat maybe I could be of benefit to others, because I feel I got my head screwed on right.
Laura's schedule was a little loaded today, and while she was able to provide a ride to the appointment, I used Uber for the ride back, which was $13.44. It was a bit more because the driver was new, and she made a wrong turn which I think added a buck to the typical fare. Apparently I was her second fare in her new Uber career. I gave her a 5 for review anyway. She was a careful driver, she just made one wrong turn.
I don't intend to make a huge habit of Uber, but when I need a ride and we're out of options, it sure does help. Hopefully, my confidence to drive will return before too long, and this would help me get back into more Ingress as well.
I will say that my balance and strength are definitely improving. Sherry worked all the same exercises that Christy would have, and a few others. I have confidence that I could be out fielding some graveyards and working on my Ingress stats again.
I also had a palliative care appointment with doctor Boris Krivitsky. All we really did was refill my methadone and oxycodone prescriptions. It seems that most of my instincts have been correct up to this point. For example, Dr. Krivitsky actually encourages his patients to write, and he was happy to hear that I had already started a blog. I just need to work on it a bit more :P
Also we had discussed that the children may need to have a little counseling. For me, I feel that my perspective is a little unique and I might not need as much counseling as many cancer patients do. Though I sometimes wonder if I shouldn't consider one of the group sessions so thbat maybe I could be of benefit to others, because I feel I got my head screwed on right.
Laura's schedule was a little loaded today, and while she was able to provide a ride to the appointment, I used Uber for the ride back, which was $13.44. It was a bit more because the driver was new, and she made a wrong turn which I think added a buck to the typical fare. Apparently I was her second fare in her new Uber career. I gave her a 5 for review anyway. She was a careful driver, she just made one wrong turn.
I don't intend to make a huge habit of Uber, but when I need a ride and we're out of options, it sure does help. Hopefully, my confidence to drive will return before too long, and this would help me get back into more Ingress as well.
Saturday, May 21, 2016
Fire Fire Fire!
Thankfully, it's not my fire, but it touches us deeply.
Waking this morning, Laura found that she had a voice mail from Brianna who is the roommate of my co-worker Dustin Murano who brings us Lenore to watch. It turns out that Dustin's wife has set fire to Dustin's house while Brianna was sleeping. Thankfully, Brianna was able to escape the house with her life.
Dustin and Lenore are also safe. Sadly the dog, cats, and bird did not survive. The house is at this point condemned and will need a full gutting, six to eight months to repair. Dustin was fully insured with USAA.
Dustin is still having a long court battle to divorce his wife, but it's far from final. I can imagine though this will accelerate things. I am told that Dustin's wife, Ashley, was able to board a plane to Utah, but that the police should be waiting to make an arrest at the other end. She will be charged with both arson and attempted manslaughter because Brianna was still in the house.
Ashley is one mixed up woman, I am also hearing that she is pregnant, and that the new baby is likely to be Dustin's. Though Ashley is living with a fellow in Utah who, turns out to be a firefighter of all things. As near as the investigator can tell, she simply grabbed lighter fluid which was handy in the kitchen, and poured this onto the glass covered, electric stove top. She then just turned on the stove and left as she waited for the fluid to flash over.
Ashley then told her mother about it, and her mother has come forward and is on record with the authorities to say that Ashley started the fire.
Laura, Kate, and I are heartbroken to hear about the loss of the dog, Sirius. All Dustin as asked for at this point is for us to return a playpen for Lenore. He's staying with a friend. Of course the Red Cross has stepped in to provide shelter as they work out the insurance claims. Although one kink is that Ashley is a beneficiary of the insurance, and as the arsonist (which technicaly hasn't been proven legally at this point) would potentially void the claim.
Laura and I watched Lenore for part of the afternoon while Dustin was settling things for Brianna's hotel. I got to have Lenore fall asleep on my chest. I has been over 12 years since I had a baby do that.
And as you see, she is quite well.
Please offer your prayers for them all today.
Waking this morning, Laura found that she had a voice mail from Brianna who is the roommate of my co-worker Dustin Murano who brings us Lenore to watch. It turns out that Dustin's wife has set fire to Dustin's house while Brianna was sleeping. Thankfully, Brianna was able to escape the house with her life.
Dustin and Lenore are also safe. Sadly the dog, cats, and bird did not survive. The house is at this point condemned and will need a full gutting, six to eight months to repair. Dustin was fully insured with USAA.
Dustin is still having a long court battle to divorce his wife, but it's far from final. I can imagine though this will accelerate things. I am told that Dustin's wife, Ashley, was able to board a plane to Utah, but that the police should be waiting to make an arrest at the other end. She will be charged with both arson and attempted manslaughter because Brianna was still in the house.
Ashley is one mixed up woman, I am also hearing that she is pregnant, and that the new baby is likely to be Dustin's. Though Ashley is living with a fellow in Utah who, turns out to be a firefighter of all things. As near as the investigator can tell, she simply grabbed lighter fluid which was handy in the kitchen, and poured this onto the glass covered, electric stove top. She then just turned on the stove and left as she waited for the fluid to flash over.
Ashley then told her mother about it, and her mother has come forward and is on record with the authorities to say that Ashley started the fire.
Laura, Kate, and I are heartbroken to hear about the loss of the dog, Sirius. All Dustin as asked for at this point is for us to return a playpen for Lenore. He's staying with a friend. Of course the Red Cross has stepped in to provide shelter as they work out the insurance claims. Although one kink is that Ashley is a beneficiary of the insurance, and as the arsonist (which technicaly hasn't been proven legally at this point) would potentially void the claim.
And as you see, she is quite well.
Please offer your prayers for them all today.
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
Trying to cut Expenses
For the past two days, I was looking at reducing expenses by selling off one or both of the cars. We have a Hyundai Sonata and a Saturn Ion, each with over $7000 owed. The hope was to sell both cars and then move into a Dodge Grand Caravan which would better suit our needs now that I won't be driving.
We began with using the USAA website to find competitive used cars on the market, and we though we had found the right thing. The trouble was of course that each of our two cars are in a pretty severe negative equity state, so there is nothing to use to roll into the new car. Between the two we have to pay $418 a month to meet the auto loans.
We drove up to a dealer in Lexington, NC, called M&L Motors and they did all that was possible to try to help us into a better solution. However, there simply wasn't any solution for us at all. Even to just drop my $236 a month on the Ion, I'd have to pay off the loan of $7400. So basically, I could pay $7400 today, or spread my payments by sticking to the actual schedule on the loan. So we're just stuck paying it as the loan was originally created.
The same is true with the Sonata. Oh well, the fact is we now know we are as optimized as we can be with that situation and there nothing to do but keep paying.
For now, the insurance company knows that we are not driving the Ion, so it's saving us a bit in premium. It's also true that Kimberley will soon return to the states, and at that time, we could put the Ion back on the road for Kate to drive, as Kimberley will want her Chrysler back. We'll just take the Ion out for a run once a month to keep the battery charged and the juices flowing.
Social Security also called today to say that my situation is 'medically approved' which basically means they found I have a true disability case, but that the case worker declined to actually name how much of a benefit I should expect to receive. It was simply implied that it was the max, whatever that is for me.
We'll apparently have to wait until September to really know what my top line of the budget is going to look like.
So all I can say is that I am focused on my money issues and doing the best I can. In addition, I finally found the full URL to the gofundme site that Pat Crawford had created for us, and I do appreciate all the donations to date!
We began with using the USAA website to find competitive used cars on the market, and we though we had found the right thing. The trouble was of course that each of our two cars are in a pretty severe negative equity state, so there is nothing to use to roll into the new car. Between the two we have to pay $418 a month to meet the auto loans.
We drove up to a dealer in Lexington, NC, called M&L Motors and they did all that was possible to try to help us into a better solution. However, there simply wasn't any solution for us at all. Even to just drop my $236 a month on the Ion, I'd have to pay off the loan of $7400. So basically, I could pay $7400 today, or spread my payments by sticking to the actual schedule on the loan. So we're just stuck paying it as the loan was originally created.
The same is true with the Sonata. Oh well, the fact is we now know we are as optimized as we can be with that situation and there nothing to do but keep paying.
For now, the insurance company knows that we are not driving the Ion, so it's saving us a bit in premium. It's also true that Kimberley will soon return to the states, and at that time, we could put the Ion back on the road for Kate to drive, as Kimberley will want her Chrysler back. We'll just take the Ion out for a run once a month to keep the battery charged and the juices flowing.
Social Security also called today to say that my situation is 'medically approved' which basically means they found I have a true disability case, but that the case worker declined to actually name how much of a benefit I should expect to receive. It was simply implied that it was the max, whatever that is for me.
We'll apparently have to wait until September to really know what my top line of the budget is going to look like.
So all I can say is that I am focused on my money issues and doing the best I can. In addition, I finally found the full URL to the gofundme site that Pat Crawford had created for us, and I do appreciate all the donations to date!
Sunday, May 15, 2016
Almost, but not Quite Entirely Unlike El Dorado, Arkansas
With a nod to Douglas Adams, I don't really mean to denigrate the people of El Dorado, but only to make again the stark contrast of a town of 18,000 verses the slightly larger metropolis of Charlotte, NC.
I'm just going to extol the virtues of this town I've come to fall in love with these past few months.
With the sixth busiest airport in the nation, we are home to every kind of food culture found on the globe. Some months ago, I was more in the habit of taking the family out for Chinese food at a restaurant on Park Ave just North of Tyvola called Dragonfly. Today, we've discovered that Dragonfly is no more, and in its place is a new Vietnamese restaurant called Ipho. I will first say that I am totally ignorant of Vietnamese fare. I mean totally! However, the owner took me by the arm, and lead through the adventure with Laura, Matthew, Theresa and Anne-Marie.
We really enjoyed every aspect of it. Normally I can say that I can't stomach Thai food, and I had no idea about Vietnamese. Of course they are completely different but I had no idea if I could enjoy any of it.
So is it authentic? Well this I can't judge, but dining a couple of tables over was a Vietnam veteran named Rufus Hutchinson, who of all things is also a real estate agent with Keller Williams.
And I was able to look him up. Rufus actually was visiting a second time, so it would seem that he's found something to merit the return. I'm sure you can e-mail him and get a more detailed review.
Oh and as I read his site, he was also awarded the Silver Star, two Distinguished Flying Crosses, and four Air Medals for valor. I think I'm going to get to know him better, as I do plan to have some real estate investment needs before long, and can never get enough war stories straight from those who lived it.
I just know a few things. First, we were treated very well, and given the opportunity to sample a lot. Secondly, we all enjoyed it, and there was accommodation made for Laura who was very concerned about food allergies. Thirdly, it didn't the bank. For the five of us, we got out with a bill for $51.99 and we were all fed well.
Additionally, when I first walked into the place, I was pretty dizzy, was having a lot of trouble and on the verge of fainting. I had some kind of big beef soup with lots of fresh vegetables that hydrated me very well. It's food that just felt healthy and clean, and it did restore me quite well.
We're going back as the budget allows!
I'm just going to extol the virtues of this town I've come to fall in love with these past few months.
With the sixth busiest airport in the nation, we are home to every kind of food culture found on the globe. Some months ago, I was more in the habit of taking the family out for Chinese food at a restaurant on Park Ave just North of Tyvola called Dragonfly. Today, we've discovered that Dragonfly is no more, and in its place is a new Vietnamese restaurant called Ipho. I will first say that I am totally ignorant of Vietnamese fare. I mean totally! However, the owner took me by the arm, and lead through the adventure with Laura, Matthew, Theresa and Anne-Marie.
We really enjoyed every aspect of it. Normally I can say that I can't stomach Thai food, and I had no idea about Vietnamese. Of course they are completely different but I had no idea if I could enjoy any of it.
So is it authentic? Well this I can't judge, but dining a couple of tables over was a Vietnam veteran named Rufus Hutchinson, who of all things is also a real estate agent with Keller Williams.
And I was able to look him up. Rufus actually was visiting a second time, so it would seem that he's found something to merit the return. I'm sure you can e-mail him and get a more detailed review.
Oh and as I read his site, he was also awarded the Silver Star, two Distinguished Flying Crosses, and four Air Medals for valor. I think I'm going to get to know him better, as I do plan to have some real estate investment needs before long, and can never get enough war stories straight from those who lived it.
I just know a few things. First, we were treated very well, and given the opportunity to sample a lot. Secondly, we all enjoyed it, and there was accommodation made for Laura who was very concerned about food allergies. Thirdly, it didn't the bank. For the five of us, we got out with a bill for $51.99 and we were all fed well.
Additionally, when I first walked into the place, I was pretty dizzy, was having a lot of trouble and on the verge of fainting. I had some kind of big beef soup with lots of fresh vegetables that hydrated me very well. It's food that just felt healthy and clean, and it did restore me quite well.
We're going back as the budget allows!
Thursday, May 12, 2016
Unexpected Gifts
Yesterday, I had mentioned that Dr. Burgess had given me a free bottle of Zytiga, and we didn't know how much the second bottle was going to cost.
Well as it turns out, this is a fairly difficult medication to get. Your typical CVS will not stock or dispense it, it has to be shipped directly to the customer using Fed Ex or the like. This morning I got a call from this special pharmacy, and they confirmed my address to ship me a new bottle. The best news of all is that they have confirmed that it is 100% covered by my insurance, and there will be no out-of-pocket cost to me!
Thank God for that!
As I read more detail of Zytiga, it turns out that when prostate cancer metastasizes, the new legions themselves have the ability to produce more testosterone to continue to feed the cancer growth. Typical Androgen Deprivation Therapies (ADT) will only suppress the testosterone produced by the testes, but Zytiga will attack it all. So clearly this becomes a more necessary step when I'm unresponsive to previous treatments.
It seems like it's pretty harsh stuff too. Warnings abound that women should not handle this without gloves, and there is even a note to say that it is unknown if Zytiga can pass through the semen, and un-protected sex is highly discouraged because of how poisonous this is to women. I also have to be careful to ingest only on an empty stomach, and to set a particular time of the day to take it consistently. So I now have to block off time in my day when I shouldn't eat.
Well onto another note.
Yesterday I also had a contractor from Forever Living Homes visit to measure the house and look to make it safer. There wasn't a whole lot we wanted to change other than put in a lot of grab bars that meet ADA specification. The rough guess is that it should cost about $1000, and this is unlikely to be covered by insurance. A harder number should be coming soon, and we look forward to the railing. The other nice news is that there are railing options that still fit the house aesthetically and remain ADA compliant. I don't mind the typical brushed stainless steel in my master bathroom, but for the stairs leading up to the second floor, I would like to get oak rails that match our current railing and dark stain.
Even after I pass, these rails will be helpful to Laura as well. While my cancer may be taking center stage at the moment we should also recognize that Laura is not in the best of health either. She's an insulin dependent diabetic, and has a lot of difficulty moving herself around too. We appreciate every donation and aid received.
God bless you all!
Well as it turns out, this is a fairly difficult medication to get. Your typical CVS will not stock or dispense it, it has to be shipped directly to the customer using Fed Ex or the like. This morning I got a call from this special pharmacy, and they confirmed my address to ship me a new bottle. The best news of all is that they have confirmed that it is 100% covered by my insurance, and there will be no out-of-pocket cost to me!
Thank God for that!
As I read more detail of Zytiga, it turns out that when prostate cancer metastasizes, the new legions themselves have the ability to produce more testosterone to continue to feed the cancer growth. Typical Androgen Deprivation Therapies (ADT) will only suppress the testosterone produced by the testes, but Zytiga will attack it all. So clearly this becomes a more necessary step when I'm unresponsive to previous treatments.
It seems like it's pretty harsh stuff too. Warnings abound that women should not handle this without gloves, and there is even a note to say that it is unknown if Zytiga can pass through the semen, and un-protected sex is highly discouraged because of how poisonous this is to women. I also have to be careful to ingest only on an empty stomach, and to set a particular time of the day to take it consistently. So I now have to block off time in my day when I shouldn't eat.
Well onto another note.
Yesterday I also had a contractor from Forever Living Homes visit to measure the house and look to make it safer. There wasn't a whole lot we wanted to change other than put in a lot of grab bars that meet ADA specification. The rough guess is that it should cost about $1000, and this is unlikely to be covered by insurance. A harder number should be coming soon, and we look forward to the railing. The other nice news is that there are railing options that still fit the house aesthetically and remain ADA compliant. I don't mind the typical brushed stainless steel in my master bathroom, but for the stairs leading up to the second floor, I would like to get oak rails that match our current railing and dark stain.
Even after I pass, these rails will be helpful to Laura as well. While my cancer may be taking center stage at the moment we should also recognize that Laura is not in the best of health either. She's an insulin dependent diabetic, and has a lot of difficulty moving herself around too. We appreciate every donation and aid received.
God bless you all!
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
I Never Expected Retirement to be so Darn Busy!
There's a lot of activity from yesterday to today.
My first happy discovery was that back in May of 2012 I had bought a full copy of Sony Vega Movie Studio for about $70, and I had used that a lot to create videos of my Eve Online exploits. The trouble was that at some point I had a hard drive crash and never recovered my installation of the software.
I happily discovered last night that I could log into Sony, and was able to easily get a second copy and recover my license.
My sister Julie had produced a very good slide show video last Christmas with a lot of source pictures from when my mother was pregnant with me and of course a lot of growing up with my sisters and all. When Julie had first thought to produce this, I think she was planning on a video more focused on my mother than of me and my children, and I sort of misunderstood the purpose. Julie is very devoted to Mom, and it's a good thing too because she takes up some of the slack where I should be taking better care of Mom.
However, it did tug at my heart some as I watched the past 52 years flyby in a bit less than an hour. What I saw was just an ordinary life, and the fun that was had during the last two generations of our family. God has made billions of ordinary lives, and so as I watched this, it occured to me that there is no shame in not making some extraodrinary impact on history, such as exploring the South Pole with Earnest Shakelton, or contributions from great scientists like Tesla, Marconi, or Faraday.
What I did do was raise a good family, and not walk away from my basic responsibilities as a father. To be sure, we have had some rough financial trouble, and there were some rocky years when we lost the house in Massachusetts, and some on Laura's side were pressing for a divorce, but through it all we did stick together and have been married for over twenty-five years. Laura and I have raised eight very excellent children, not a single one of them cause for shame. In this slide show that Julie had produced, were years of smiles and small adventures for our children. And this should be enough to make anyone proud.
I am motivated to produce my own video that would be similar, but focused slightly differently so that it's more of a legacy message for my children. I plan to take months at this, but it's very encouraging that I have the software to do it again, and I didn't have to outlay any more money for it.
This morning, Laura and I had a visit with Dr. Burgess to get my updated Lupron shot to continue to suppress my testosterone and slow the cancer. In addition, because the disease is progressing faster than expected, (Apparently the Taxotere chemo series I took earlier this Winter wasn't as effective as had been hoped) Dr. Burgess has started me on Zytiga (Abiraterone acetate) today. This is supposed to be a very expensive medication, and he had a sample bottle worth about $10,000 in his office. He provided that to me at no charge, and should last a month. However the second month supply is likely to be expensive, as we don't know how much will be covered by insurance.
Dr Burgess also had the option to start me on Xtandi, which he feels is very similar, the only difference is that he had no free samples, so we went with Zytigra.
Following this appointment, Kate took Stephen and myself out for a pedicure, It was actually my suggestion last night. Stephen was going to fly back to Connecticut this afternoon, and I know how much Kate wanted to "break him in" and get another male to experience culture that many men never bother to indulge. For me, it's actually becoming more of a true medical neccesity as I can't easily reach my toes to cut my nails on my own. But for today, it was just a fun thing for the three of us to share.
I had intended to get more work done on my current finances, but after that small bit of activity, I was already quite wiped.
Later this evening, I bought us two rocking chairs from Gander Mountain and a table for the front patio, The wifi reaches quite nicely out here so I can post to the blog quite comfortably. And rather than being entirely reclusive from my nieghborhood I can greet the dog walkers as they use the side walks. This truly is going to be a great adventure over these remaining months.
oh also I was officially weighed in at Dr. Burgess's office at 250 so the weight continues to drop since Chirstmas, but I'm not totally wasting away yet either.
I hope that my readers can get some sense that life is a gift and that they probably have more things in thier own life to be thankful for, if they would only open thier eyes a bit wider and praise God for his many good gifts.
My first happy discovery was that back in May of 2012 I had bought a full copy of Sony Vega Movie Studio for about $70, and I had used that a lot to create videos of my Eve Online exploits. The trouble was that at some point I had a hard drive crash and never recovered my installation of the software.
I happily discovered last night that I could log into Sony, and was able to easily get a second copy and recover my license.
My sister Julie had produced a very good slide show video last Christmas with a lot of source pictures from when my mother was pregnant with me and of course a lot of growing up with my sisters and all. When Julie had first thought to produce this, I think she was planning on a video more focused on my mother than of me and my children, and I sort of misunderstood the purpose. Julie is very devoted to Mom, and it's a good thing too because she takes up some of the slack where I should be taking better care of Mom.
However, it did tug at my heart some as I watched the past 52 years flyby in a bit less than an hour. What I saw was just an ordinary life, and the fun that was had during the last two generations of our family. God has made billions of ordinary lives, and so as I watched this, it occured to me that there is no shame in not making some extraodrinary impact on history, such as exploring the South Pole with Earnest Shakelton, or contributions from great scientists like Tesla, Marconi, or Faraday.
What I did do was raise a good family, and not walk away from my basic responsibilities as a father. To be sure, we have had some rough financial trouble, and there were some rocky years when we lost the house in Massachusetts, and some on Laura's side were pressing for a divorce, but through it all we did stick together and have been married for over twenty-five years. Laura and I have raised eight very excellent children, not a single one of them cause for shame. In this slide show that Julie had produced, were years of smiles and small adventures for our children. And this should be enough to make anyone proud.
I am motivated to produce my own video that would be similar, but focused slightly differently so that it's more of a legacy message for my children. I plan to take months at this, but it's very encouraging that I have the software to do it again, and I didn't have to outlay any more money for it.
This morning, Laura and I had a visit with Dr. Burgess to get my updated Lupron shot to continue to suppress my testosterone and slow the cancer. In addition, because the disease is progressing faster than expected, (Apparently the Taxotere chemo series I took earlier this Winter wasn't as effective as had been hoped) Dr. Burgess has started me on Zytiga (Abiraterone acetate) today. This is supposed to be a very expensive medication, and he had a sample bottle worth about $10,000 in his office. He provided that to me at no charge, and should last a month. However the second month supply is likely to be expensive, as we don't know how much will be covered by insurance.
Dr Burgess also had the option to start me on Xtandi, which he feels is very similar, the only difference is that he had no free samples, so we went with Zytigra.
I had intended to get more work done on my current finances, but after that small bit of activity, I was already quite wiped.
Later this evening, I bought us two rocking chairs from Gander Mountain and a table for the front patio, The wifi reaches quite nicely out here so I can post to the blog quite comfortably. And rather than being entirely reclusive from my nieghborhood I can greet the dog walkers as they use the side walks. This truly is going to be a great adventure over these remaining months.
oh also I was officially weighed in at Dr. Burgess's office at 250 so the weight continues to drop since Chirstmas, but I'm not totally wasting away yet either.
I hope that my readers can get some sense that life is a gift and that they probably have more things in thier own life to be thankful for, if they would only open thier eyes a bit wider and praise God for his many good gifts.
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